The idea of a white America to begin with is inherently toxic, tbf. American whiteness is a construct made by ruling elites once they realized that the Irish and Italian immigrants were going to outnumber the British-Germanic descended citizenry.

Shallow understanding from people of goodwill is more frustrating than absolute misunderstanding from people of ill will.

I'm not going to say it any better than MLK, so I'll just leave the link here.

White America is the problem. Sure, moderate white Americans are so much less terrible than outright racists, but a complacent majority that is happy to reap the benefits of an unjust system, simply because it is the comfortable path, is one of the major reasons why it's so hard to make movement against those racists.

Require public middle schools to include mandatory courses or seminars about empathy, emotional wellbeing, and basic social skills.

I'm all for this.

who many claim to be instilled with a strong sense of justice

They think justice is them (and people they like) winning. That's what they believe. Values and morals are justifications for what they do, not reasons to do things.

That's why they will never understand when you try to explain how they are not actually following their values, or heros, or religion. Their main idea is that they are correct and right. It's not a complicated position but it's very human.

If you don't think like that, congratulations. You're a better person. But that doesn't mean you'll be able to convince them that they're wrong.

“We spend so much effort trying not to offend anyone anymore. Why can’t we just get back to just offending everyone?”

I mean, it's obviously wrong to lash out to do the opposite of what people order of you, yet I feel like in minor ways we've all done that to some degree. I also can't think of any close group of friends that hasn't picked out some kind of group that they are okay with disparaging - be it local drivers, voters of a political party, people playing a certain game, etc. If it seems like the goal for happiness is to just forbid any externally focused negativity, it's not hard to see why that doesn't seem appealing. People always have gripes, and want to express them.

You even see this with little kids. They do a thousand mean/bad things parents hate because they want to do things. The biggest tip I think early parents need is to stop leading every sentence with "Don't ____!" - instead try to invent things that they can do that the parents are okay with. "Hey, count how many white cars are on the road." "Hey, can you fill this coloring book using only wrong colors", etc. They just want to figure out a 'space' that they're not going to be shot down for inventiveness.

The key, and maybe this is something those coffee drinkers don't understand and could even plausibly be taught, is to focus any gripes towards thoughts and actions of others, never identities. If you asked extremely bigoted people whether "people in wheelchairs are stupid", I would bet a fair number of them would recoil and tell you to shove off, because even they know no one asks to be in a wheelchair. But it's less clear to them why someone might end up a junkie on drugs, or illegally immigrating, or what multiple reasons there might be for links between arrest rate and skin color.

I have no idea why these people can step outside of themselves for even a short time to listen to the experiences of others

I mean, you may have answered your own question with the "I have no idea" part. If you can't envision an even halfway possible reason for the life they've lead, bringing them to that point they make that statement, you have your own answer how it's hard to put yourself in others' shoes.

I tried to tag you in my reply below but I'm not sure if I did it right. I wrote TWO long posts underneath @cubedsteaks -- and YOU said your post was longer than it should be! If you don't have time to read my serialized thoughts below, just know that I appreciated your response.

The boringly sad way of putting it is, if you are white, cis-gendered, male, and straight, (in short, the “majority”), and you happen to not have a talent that makes you unique, you literally can’t finish the sentence “I am PROUD to be ____” without coming across as a bit of a demon in some people’s eyes.

I mean, no one will give you guff for "Irish-American pride" or "English-American pride" or "Italian-American pride", and American pride is basically mandatory in our society. Male pride is still very much lionized (pun intended) in our society, and celebrated. I believe the in-vogue phrase for gynephilia positivity is "All women are queens" followed by clapping emojis. Nothing for being cis-gendered, I suppose.

But for any individual person, it’s horribly demeaning to come home from a hard day at work not making enough to buy the PlayStation you want, aching for someone to talk to, and all the support groups out there are for “Black Engineers of America”, or “Help for Transgenders afraid to come out to their parents”. I say that as someone who absolutely respects and values the benefit those groups bring. Keep in mind: People looking in from the outside of those orgs probably also have a hard time seeing or understanding the amount of societal pain people have just by being in those minority groups, before and after those organizations started forming.

What's so crazy about this is even I, as a bisexual woman don't get to go to any support groups cause where I live, if you're not trans and a youth, who cares?? If you're not BIPOC, tough shit.

Hell most people, even other gay people will act like bisexuality isn't real or doesn't count or isn't good enough to warrant any kind of support.

Like even the queer events here are usually just targeted towards trans and BIPOC or aro/ace people. It's like the other parts of LGBTQ+ don't even matter to them.

Or if they identify as a nazi using an easilly removable pin, give them something that can't be taken off.

Yes. The murderer on Saturday is said to have had a swastika drawn on his gun and a Rhodesian army patch on his clothing. As bad as Florida schools are he didn’t learn to like those things in school. He was groomed, most likely online. The conservative reactions seek to identify the fault as squarely within the individual — although not to the extent that they will support mental health screening prior to gun purchases. In other words, not to any meaningful extent. The only consequence a conservative politician supports is vitriolic tough talk for the cameras.

as white people we’re gonna have to prove which side we’re on regularly

Remember when Muslims were socially pressured to prove they weren't terrorists by condeming the terrorists, following 9/11?

I have no problem with condemning racism, seeing as it is evil, but we should maintain an "innocent until proven guilty" policy.

Nazis are the ultimate intersectional mobaliser

Before that it was John Birch Society spreading out magazines and having meetings in homes like Avon. I do agree the internet, mainstream radio, and TV helped a lot too. Cutting down access to not yet radicalized people I do think would help. People used to think birchers were crazy, even on the right. Up until they basically transformed into the Tea Party. (Funded a lot by Kochs, sons of one of the original Birchers).

STFU with your useless cynicism. You sound like a loser who's already given up. We don't need people like you.

Literally attempting anything is better than doing nothing. The least we can do is improve education by having local politicians put more tax spending into public schools, so as to develop less defeatist losers, or less racists, less fascists, less religious fundamentalists, less tankies.