Rural ass Appalachia. Lol. By culture I was specifically referring to the gay culture here, but the culture writ large is also not one I particularly vibe with. I try my best not to paint with a broad brush, but it's undeniable that there are certain cultural and social elements at play here. The gay culture here is absolutely inundated with meth and "parTying." The larger general culture has an almost... Antagonistic view on anything even remotely academic or intellectual. On top of that, my political views just do not align with the vast majority of the people where I live. And I'm not trying to disparage anyone, I understand there are reasons for all of that, and that education in this region has historically been so poor that they've had to retool a lot of the testing specifically for this region. But I've lived here 10 years, and I've managed to make 3 friends, 2 of which live an hour away, and we meet up in a city that's central to us.

As far as making friends goes, it's not that I don't trust them at first blush or anything, I guess I'm just sort of stuck in my own routine, and it takes quite a lot of time before I can adjust my programming to include another human into that. I have to feel a connection with them to want to include them in my life, and that takes time. On top of that, it's incredibly difficult to find people with shared interests. And I know, I make the perfect the enemy of the good. I do that, and I need to stop.

But lemme tell you about my most recent date. Lol. Met this dude online, talked for 2 weeks. He seemed perfect. Great guy, exactly my type. Smart, funny, into nerdy shit, loves philosophy, he's a writer.

We meet up at a local park, where's there's a busy walking trail. Go on an hour long walk, where he informs me the love of his life is in prison for dealing meth, will be getting out hopefully in 2032. He wants someone who will me in with him, and keep him company, be a companion until his man gets out of prison, at which point the relationship has an expiration date.

The guy before that was also pretty compatible, not exactly everything I wished for, but a good guy, i thought it could be something. We broke up because he was in the closet, which, fine, I understand that. What I couldn't tolerate is how he would go out on the weekends with his cousins to go fagbashing. They'd catfish a guy on Grindr, and then pummel the shit out of him. He was so afraid of his family that he would participate in that. Which is horrible that he had to deal with family like that, but I just couldn't sit by idly. He broke up with me when I reported turned in his cousins.

Tennessee can be a lovely place, but get too far outside of a city, and it turns dark real quick.