I think what you're experiencing is people here being less tolerant of your assholery.

I wasn't necessarily calling you an asshole, it's just a quote that represents what the other commenter was talking about.

To answer your initial question, I haven't personally noticed Lemmy being more toxic than other platforms like it. Most conversations I've had have been pleasant. But I tend to avoid commenting on hot button topics. You commented on a topic that people feel strongly about and got angry comment replies. I wouldn't say that necessarily represents the site as a whole. But both of our experiences are anecdotal so it's difficult to say which is more common.