Here's an idea. Stop using FB.
I get it, your boomer parents/grandparents don't know how to use anything else... But you can show them. It's very similar and doesn't suck as much.
I understand this move from FB too... Rather than maintain two apps, that both do the same thing, just maintain one. However, without the ability to turn off all the bloat and crap in the one app to make it very similar to the other, I don't see that being viable for many, and I'm sure they don't let you do that, so, ha ha, get fucked.
Anyways, Facebook is a cancer.