Friends with benefits and romance. Ideally, I'd like openly queer and kinky partners who are openly queer and kinky everywhere and don't try to hide it, and for those relationships to last, and if they don't I need valid reasons why not. Maybe even marriage one day.

In terms of Recon being intense, I very much need that BDSM dynamic. I don't have to call him "master" when we're at a coffee shop because that might be weird for the other guests, but I've been a part of the kink scene for a while and see no reason to hide it. 19 can be too young depending on their level of experience. I dated a 19-year-old transgirl a few years ago who was more mature than I am now. Of course, the hillbilly community college crowd has a mental age of about 10. It's hell here.

I don't mean to complain. I very much want a hardcore sadist partner or two who participate in the community, and if 10% of the population fits the description then everyone I know is playing coy.