OP's exploring unfamiliar territory and doesn't have clinical/conversational vocabulary for it yet, which isn't too surprising considering growing services like Lemmy are bound to attract all kinds of people eventually. We shouldn't gatekeep info because of crude language, and as a bi guy I don't think they said anything explicitly hateful here.

Interesting how anyone could consider a simple question about sexual activity hateful. And even more interesting that the "offended" person would comment on it.