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Humans, apparently, throw like gods (lemmy.world)
submitted 3 years ago by to c/hfy@lemmy.world
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[–] 5 points 3 years ago (2 children)

We invented the flame thrower. I know George Carlin did the bit best but... Imagine explaining that to a group of aliens.

"You... you throw what now?"

"Flames, bro."

"For what purpose...?"

"Well, We had these people called Nazis and they liked to hide in concrete fortifications so we figured the best way to make them not be in there would be to fill it with fire."

"Does that not harm these 'nazis'?"

"Oh yeah, it harms them. That was like, a bonus."

"Well, It was nice meeting you. Goodbye forever."

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  • [–] 3 points 3 years ago (2 children)

    But wait! Let us tell you about the mustard gas!

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  • [–] 2 points 3 years ago (1 child)

    "So we created these chemicals for wars..."

    "Ah, killing the enemy efficiently!"

    "Well, no."

    "So they knock them out temporarily?"

    "Haha, not exactly..."

    "Then they're useless?"

    "No. They just really mess them up. It goes into their body really easily and it's super carcinogenic, permanently fucks their DNA up, basically eats their skin, probably causes them to go blind, and will make them mentally fucked up. But it takes hours for them to notice the effect."

    "...What the hell is wrong with you guys?"

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  • [–] 1 point 3 years ago (2 children)

    ... however, flamethrowers were fielded by the Germans first, and already in the previous World War.

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