Everyone convincing each other in the comments that nobody cares about this is clearly wrong, and are being so in an insanely toxic and dismissive manner.

So when people vote according to what you prefer, it's validation of the problem. When they don't, it's "insanely toxic and dismissive". Surely you see the problem with this line of argument?

Who gives a shit about user experience anyways?

This is a type of "faster horse" case. The fact that so many people are asking for it is just an indication that they are stuck in "centralized system" mentality, not that they are facing a real problem.

there are many communities that died due to lack of traction.

Can you give actual examples where the community died because the people were splintered around? Because from the majority of communities that I see that are dead, they are dead simply for a lack of interest from the people, or the creator just wanted created a quick replica from reddit but never worried about cultivating it.

To illustrate: the Nix community even created a Lemmy instance and announced on Reddit, but it ended up completely dead because the most experienced people ignored are already on Discourse. The newbies here on the Fediverse wanting help knew were to go, but were posting questions and receiving crickets in return. Of course it would die.

Also, something similar to less popular programming languages. I was doing my best to help !elixir@programming.dev to come off the ground, but there simply isn't enough people interested.

What would help is that people stopped trying to find a "canonical place" to put content and just went on to put content without much worry. I have been basically posting on !humanscale@communick.news by myself. Would it be nice if more people posted? Yes. Do you think I will just give up because it's been six months and no one else cared to post there? Of course not.

There isn’t one “most active one” because federation isn’t perfect and every instance sees a different number of users/posts.

Number of users is pretty similar in my experience, with an average difference between 2 and 10 users.

federation isn’t perfect

Again: so what? It's reasonably easy to see how different is your view from a given community compared to another instance.

You can’t guarantee that.

You are right. There is no guarantee. That doesn't bother me, and I truly don't understand why it should bother others. I am not going to write only if I am optimizing reach or I know a priori if the people are going to approve.

Also, your solution (everyone eventually just uses the same community) isn’t decentralized.

Sorry, your argument is falling to the fallacy that Taleb calls "Thinking in Words". If the system does not depend on a central authority and if the agents are free to talk with each other even when not in the same namespace, then yes, it is decentralized. In practice, there is no actual problem in having large communities belonging to one server. The people are not tied to it, and if the instance controlling the community starts acting malicious or against the interest of the majority, it's easy to coordinate a move away.

Too much time living in Germany, sorry. ;)

Seriously, though... Look at the submission:

• it starts with a coward's version of an imperative ("needs to fix") in the title. Look around and you will see plenty of cases of people using this phrasing when they want to give an ultimatum but don't have the means/authority to back it up with a credible threat.
• It goes on to describe the "problem" but stays in the abstract, without ever giving a real example of its consequences or why it should be so important. IOW, it wants to get other people to worry about something that haven't affected them in a meaningful way.
• The most annoying thing of all: the author sees a problem, describes all of the possible solutions, but stays away from showing work done on any of them.

I have all the patience in the world when someone starts an argument from the position of a learner, trying to understand the situation and willing to accept that they are the ones that need to adapt to something new. But when someone starts arguing already from the position of unearned authority (like the title) and wants to turn "their" problem into other people's work, then yes I will respond in this abrasive way.