101
Why do people keep asking where I'm from? (lemmy.ca)
submitted 2 years ago* by to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml
109 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

Up until I started working, I didn't really encounter that question. When I did start working, people started asking me that question.

Them: Where are you from?

Me: Canada.

Them: Where are your grandparents from?

Me: Canada.

Them: Ok, where are your great grandparents from?

Me: Canada.

It's irritating sometimes. I just want to exist, do my job and go home, like anyone else. Once is ok, twice is odd, three times is weird, and the fourth time is a pattern.

The only accent that I might have would probably be from Newfoundland, Canada, as I grew up with a lot of people from there. I also talk too fast sometimes.

Have you had similar experiences, and if so, how did you handle it? Can fast speech patterns cause this? Why do random people care so much?

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[โ€“] 28 points 2 years ago (3 children)

So are you autistic? Because the literal-mindedness of your answers and the lack of awareness of how to engage in small talk is telling. I say this as one on the spectrum myself; it took me a long time to understand this is just an attempt to establish social connections by finding points of commonality. "Oh, you're from Calgary? I used to live there, too! Did you know a store called Myth Games?" Neurotypical people are also waiting for you to ask the same things in return and often feel miffed if you don't show any curiosity about them.

  • permalink
  • fedilink
  • source
  • hideshow 6 child comments
    •
  • [โ€“] 6 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    Also autistic. I had the same thought about OP.

    Before building my mask I was very similar (and probably pissed a lot of NTs off too lol).

  • permalink
  • fedilink
  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 2 child comments
    •
  • [โ€“] 5 points 2 years ago (2 children)

    I was in my 50s before I started understanding this stuff. Before that, I was married to a very gregarious man who was my social buffer. I could hide behind his small talk. But then he passed away and I was left twisting in the wind until I started to learn how to make small talk. Often I just ask myself what my husband would have said.

  • permalink
  • fedilink
  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 4 child comments
    •
  • [โ€“] 2 points 2 years ago

    I was late diagnosed discovered as well. Early 30s.

    I have a decent mask built up but it is really exhausting so I try not to use it if I don't have to.

    On thing I've found about small talk is, people love to be told what day it is. Like they ask you "how's it going?" and you say back "well it sure is a Tuesday!" It's actually amusing how well it works.

  • permalink
  • fedilink
  • source
  • parent
  • [โ€“] 5 points 2 years ago

    I don't know if this applies to this kind of question though. If you ask someone where they're from and they say Canada and you want more you would say "what part" not start going up the generations

  • permalink
  • fedilink
  • source
  • parent
  • [โ€“] [S] 1 point 2 years ago

    I might or might not be. I was tested as a child, but my parents were told that I had ADHD. They could have been wrong, though. I'll keep my mind open and maybe get checked out again at some point though.

    I would agree with you about the small talk thing, but I could also argue that some people just suck at small talk. ADHD, trauma, behavioural diagnosis, etc could all be a cause. I would also argue that most people would pick up on someone avoiding a topic. If I get one worded answers, I'll usually move on to the next thing or I'll let that person be. I won't usually keep asking someone the same question in different ways if I don't get an answer the first couple of times haha.

  • permalink
  • fedilink
  • source
  • parent