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[–] 74 points 2 years ago (4 children)

Birthdays don't exist. That's a myth made up by Big Cake to get people to buy more cake.

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  • [–] 15 points 2 years ago (3 children)

    ..you guys don't use long stick lighters to light birthday candles, so as to not burn yourself when lighting 30 of those sumbitches?

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  • [–] 12 points 2 years ago* (2 children)

    I’m sorry but you’ve been fooled. It’s not big cake, it’s actually big candle. Big cake was just a decoy for big candle so people would focus their attention on an invisible enemy while they destroyed peoples lives from the shadows. Tell everyone.

    I didn’t kill myself.

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