Dude just get a bidet thing that you can install under your toilet seat. Just get one, don't question it! Best 30 โฌ I've ever spent!
The thing is that with this you don't have to clean your ass anymore, it just does it by itself! You don't have to do anything anymore ๐โโ๏ธ and it's really not strange to use it. One may think it would feel strange but you'll see. Just get one! Everyone should have one ๐โโ๏ธ๐