483
What do you choose? (lemmy.ca)
submitted 3 years ago by to c/memes@lemmy.ml
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[–] 116 points 3 years ago* (6 children)

Jesus.

Only because I want to see how Right wing "Christians" would react to being faced with their messiah being a middle-eastern globalist communist that preaches love and acceptance.

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  • [–] 33 points 3 years ago (2 children)

    Honestly this time, instead of crucifying him, we really should strap him down to a table and put him in a lab to see if we can figure out some more medical modern miracles before he rage quits to heaven again.

    Not like anyone on this Earth is going to gain anything from listening to his actual teachings or anything.

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  • [–] 6 points 3 years ago (1 child)

    That is a good reason. It almost compensates for the fact that when he does come back, most everything is going to hell In a handbasket.

    So, I'll go with another option, thank you.

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  • [–] 2 points 3 years ago (1 child)

    If you believe a book that says there is a magic man in the sky who made us in his image, but is angry with how we turned out.

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  • [–] 5 points 3 years ago (2 children)

    Let's be honest. If he comes back, doesn't that mean that book is true? We're literally acting under the presumption of the guy coming back.

    Which means there would be a pissy magic man in the sky. And that means we would go to hell in a handbasket.

    So I'm voting on Radio Shack.

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  • [–] 2 points 3 years ago (1 child)

    My first thought was he’d be cancelled or get crucified again. He’d need to show some full on magic to get our attention today. Water to wine or walking on water is too “street magic” today.

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  • [–] 2 points 3 years ago (1 child)

    Assuming he existed to begin with.

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  • [–] 3 points 3 years ago (1 child)

    I'm an atheist, but this is a funny meme so I just "yes and"-ed its premise.

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  • [+] -41 points 3 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (2 children)
    [deleted]
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  • [–] 21 points 3 years ago (1 child)

    Sure buddy

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  • [+] -38 points 3 years ago* (2 children)
    [removed by mod]
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  • [–] 11 points 3 years ago* (1 child)

    Copied from Reddit user Right-Fisherman-1234 detailing the accounts of the Republican parties documented history of sexual misconduct.

    Ummmm ok?

    Republican anti-abortion activist Howard Scott Heldreth is a convicted child rapist in Florida.

    Republican County Commissioner David Swartz pleaded guilty to molesting two girls under the age of 11 and was sentenced to 8 years in prison.

    Republican judge Mark Pazuhanich pleaded no contest to fondling a 10-year old girl and was sentenced to 10 years probation.

    Republican anti-abortion activist Nicholas Morency pleaded guilty to possessing child pornography on his computer and offering a bounty to anybody who murders an abortion doctor.

    Republican legislator Edison Misla Aldarondo was sentenced to 10 years in prison for raping his daughter between the ages of 9 and 17.

    Republican Mayor Philip Giordano is serving a 37-year sentence in federal prison for sexually abusing 8- and 10-year old girls.

    Republican campaign consultant Tom Shortridge was sentenced to three years probation for taking nude photographs of a 15-year old girl.

    Republican racist pedophile and United States Senator Strom Thurmond had sex with a 15-year old black girl which produced a child.

    Republican pastor Mike Hintz, whom George W. Bush commended during the 2004 presidential campaign, surrendered to police after admitting to a sexual affair with a female juvenile.

    Republican legislator Peter Dibble pleaded no contest to having an inappropriate relationship with a 13-year-old girl.

    Republican activist Lawrence E. King, Jr. organized child sex parties at the White House during the 1980s.

    Republican lobbyist Craig J. Spence organized child sex parties at the White House during the 1980s.

    Republican Congressman Donald "Buz" Lukens was found guilty of having sex with a female minor and sentenced to one month in jail.

    Republican fundraiser Richard A. Delgaudio was found guilty of child porn charges and paying two teenage girls to pose for sexual photos.

    Republican activist Mark A. Grethen convicted on six counts of sex crimes involving children.

    Republican activist Randal David Ankeney pleaded guilty to attempted sexual assault on a child.

    Republican Congressman Dan Crane had sex with a female minor working as a congressional page.

    Republican activist and Christian Coalition leader Beverly Russell admitted to an incestuous relationship with his step daughter.

    Republican governor Arnold Schwarzenegger allegedly had sex with a 16 year old girl when he was 28.

    Republican congressman and anti-gay activist Robert Bauman was charged with having sex with a 16-year-old boy he picked up at a gay bar.

    Republican Committee Chairman Jeffrey Patti was arrested for distributing a video clip of a 5-year-old girl being raped.

    Republican activist Marty Glickman (a.k.a. "Republican Marty"), was taken into custody by Florida police on four counts of unlawful sexual activity with an underage girl and one count of delivering the drug LSD.

    Republican legislative aide Howard L. Brooks was charged with molesting a 12-year old boy and possession of child pornography.

    Republican Senate candidate John Hathaway was accused of having sex with his 12-year old baby sitter and withdrew his candidacy after the allegations were reported in the media.

    Republican preacher Stephen White, who demanded a return to traditional values, was sentenced to jail after offering $20 to a 14-year-old boy for permission to perform oral sex on him.

    Republican talk show host Jon Matthews pleaded guilty to exposing his genitals to an 11 year old girl.

    Republican anti-gay activist Earl "Butch" Kimmerling was sentenced to 40 years in prison for molesting an 8-year old girl after he attempted to stop a gay couple from adopting her.

    Republican Party leader Paul Ingram pleaded guilty to six counts of raping his daughters and served 14 years in federal prison.

    Republican election board official Kevin Coan was sentenced to two years probation for soliciting sex over the internet from a 14-year old girl.

    Republican politician Andrew Buhr was charged with two counts of first degree sodomy with a 13-year old boy.

    Republican politician Keith Westmoreland was arrested on seven felony counts of lewd and lascivious exhibition to girls under the age of 16 (i.e. exposing himself to children).

    Republican anti-abortion activist John Allen Burt was charged with sexual misconduct involving a 15-year old girl.

    Republican County Councilman Keola Childs pleaded guilty to molesting a male child.

    Republican activist John Butler was charged with criminal sexual assault on a teenage girl.

    Republican candidate Richard Gardner admitted to molesting his two daughters.

    Republican Councilman and former Marine Jack W. Gardner was convicted of molesting a 13-year old girl.

    Republican County Commissioner Merrill Robert Barter pleaded guilty to unlawful sexual contact and assault on a teenage boy.

    Republican City Councilman Fred C. Smeltzer, Jr. pleaded no contest to raping a 15 year-old girl and served 6-months in prison.

    Republican activist Parker J. Bena pleaded guilty to possession of child pornography on his home computer and was sentenced to 30 months in federal prison and fined $18,000.

    Republican parole board officer and former Colorado state representative, Larry Jack Schwarz, was fired after child pornography was found in his possession.

    Republican strategist and Citadel Military College graduate Robin Vanderwall was convicted in Virginia on five counts of soliciting sex from boys and girls over the internet.

    Republican city councilman Mark Harris, who is described as a "good military man" and "church goer," was convicted of repeatedly having sex with an 11-year-old girl and sentenced to 12 years in prison.

    Republican businessman Jon Grunseth withdrew his candidacy for Minnesota governor after allegations surfaced that he went swimming in the nude with four underage girls, including his daughter.

    Republican director of the "Young Republican Federation" Nicholas Elizondo molested his 6-year old daughter and was sentenced to six years in prison.

    Republican benefactor of conservative Christian groups, Richard A. Dasen Sr., was charged with rape for allegedly paying a 15-year old girl for sex. Dasen, 62, who is married with grown children and several grandchildren, has allegedly told police that over the past decade he paid more than $1 million to have sex with a large number of young women

    Donald Trump walked into Miss Teen USA change rooms with girls as young as 14 changing. He has been accused of raping a 13 -year-old with an independent witness.

    https://baptistaccountability.org/

    https://www.goodpeoplefund.org/news/a-14-year-old-bride-wed-to-her-rapist-playing-on-a-jungle-gym/

    https://www.pbs.org/wgbh/frontline/article/married-young-the-fight-over-child-marriage-in-america/

    https://crossroadjunction.com/2013/04/01/predatory-grooming-in-our-churches/

    https://www.chicagotribune.com/opinion/commentary/ct-perspec-evangelical-roy-moore-girls-1115-20171114-story.html

    https://www.reuters.com/world/americas/mexico-based-church-leader-pleads-guilty-sexually-abusing-3-children-2022-06-04/

    https://www.thedailybeast.com/pastor-john-lowes-adultery-confession-in-warsaw-indiana-church-goes-sideways-victim-says-i-was-just-16

    https://www.houstonchronicle.com/news/investigations/article/Bombshell-400-page-report-finds-Southern-Baptist-17190816.php#photo-22508589

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  • [+] -9 points 3 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (2 children)
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  • [–] 12 points 3 years ago*

    Being overly defensive after being purposely deceptive you may not support them but you'd fit right in

    That being said I'm not American and I don't support either party either but you certainly gave the impression you did. Because the only place that uses the right and the left like that is generally the United States everywhere else I've been to use the actual party names

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