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[–] 59 points 2 years ago (2 children)

If you don't know how to drive a truck, please don't. Just dont.

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  • [–] 32 points 2 years ago (2 children)

    Elect me dictator of the world and I will implement my pickup truck and SUV tiered licensing scheme: Before you are allowed to have an F-150 or Escalade, first you must complete a 4 year probationary period of driving, say, a Suzuki Samurai.

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  • [–] 11 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    Fuck, I would LOVE to drive a Samurai!

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  • [+] -7 points 2 years ago (2 children)

    No one loves driving a samurai.

    A samurai is a jeep for people who can afford little more than a lawn mower.

    It rides like you're in a trash can being pulled by an angry mule.

    A Suzuki samurai can get you places, as long as they're either at least down wind or down hill from where you're currently at.

    You can take the samurai off road but you'll find the experience of driving on smooth asphalt dangerous enough.

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  • [–] 9 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (2 children)

    wranglers are samurais for people who are mentally stuck in high school who need to be seen as cool, and massively overpay to do so.

    They take an "offroading vehicle", modify it further, reduce the efficiency and ruin the on-road handling, slap a light bar on top, and then drive it to the mall and back.

    But it's alright, because the marketing team at Joop™ told them it's the Real American Young Man©'s utilitarian vehicle, starting at 175% of what a competing vehicle from any other brand would cost, with 30% of their reliability.

    Good thing you brought that Wrangler™ to drive onto the dirt path to your favorite drinking spot in the mountains, not like anything else would've gotten you there.

    Or for the 1% that actually crawl rocks, it's a good thing to constantly prove that with enough torque, and getting out, making sure you won't hit, and getting back in, the coefficient of friction of a surface still behaves the same way. Kinda crazy how other people just go around and get to the same spot with final drive ratios that keep their vehicles useable elsewhere. What's the fun if you don't spend 15 minutes not going around?

    It's ok though, the guys with green and beige tacomas with all their gear strapped to the cage day in and day out are even more insufferable. That moment as they hop out in their cargo shorts and Tevas on their way to order another IPA hoping a girl will hear their stories about their once-a-year "overlanding" trips is so worth it. They're higher-end, more refined, because they drive Tacomas™. But the way they wear their wayfarers inside and the Patagonia t-shirts tell them "it's ok baby, I'm also chill"

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  • [–] -2 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    Just ban them outright. What's the point? You want to move things around, get a bus

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  • [–] 11 points 2 years ago (2 children)

    I need an F-350 so I can haul my wife around.

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  • [–] 6 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    Then you don't need all those 4 seats

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  • [–] 3 points 2 years ago (2 children)

    Does it have a two-tonne cargo capacity?

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  • [–] 2 points 2 years ago* (1 child)

    Exactly this model? Not sure, but somewhere between 1.5 and 3t. Probably only 1.5t.

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  • [–] 2 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    Not quite good enough for my wife then.

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  • [–] 2 points 2 years ago* (1 child)

    that's a lot of wife. You could trade your wife in for a smaller model.

    no one needs that much wife!

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  • [–] 1 point 2 years ago (1 child)

    Wives are the opposite of trucks, the smaller they are the more expensive.

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  • [–] 23 points 2 years ago (2 children)

    This isn't lack of ability, it's on purpose. I have had this type explain how clever they are for parking like this to keep other drivers from dinging their truck

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  • [–] -4 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    I do this, but in the far end if the lot. Notice how the image is framed so you can't see where in the lot the truck is.

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  • [–] 4 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    i hope the the negative score let you know that we think it's shitty even back there

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  • [–] -3 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    We care about points? I walk the full distance of the parking lot. If I don't care about doing that, why do you think I care about internet points?

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