Memes

hideshow 8 child comments

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world 52 points 3 days ago (3 children)

In my restaurant there's a four drink minimum before you can start cooking or serving customers.

hideshow 6 child comments

parent

[–] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 11 points 3 days ago (1 child)

I got the least serious bollocking of my life from the manager of the bar I worked in when the exec team of the bar I worked in bought me 12 jagerbombs in a single shift

parent

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world 5 points 3 days ago (1 child)

How much coke was involved?

parent

[–] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 7 points 3 days ago (1 child)

for us plebs sadly none

parent

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world 8 points 3 days ago

12 jagerbombs and no coke is a war crime.

parent

[–] SaharaMaleikuhm@feddit.org 7 points 3 days ago (2 children)

And no maximum?

hideshow 4 child comments

parent

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world 30 points 3 days ago (1 child)

Most people find their own maximum.

parent

[–] spazzman6156@sh.itjust.works 5 points 3 days ago*

Some find it and just leave it faaaar behind them

parent

[–] grue@lemmy.world 13 points 3 days ago (1 child)

Remember this scene in Ratatouille where Colette talks about the sordid pasts of the kitchen staff? Now consider that that was bowdlerized for a kids' movie, compared to reality.

parent

[–] stopdropandprole@lemmy.world 7 points 3 days ago (1 child)

TIL "bowdlerize" https://www.englishgrammar.org/bowdlerize-means-sanitize-book/

what a prude, that Thomas Bowdler. Shakespeare was too spicy for him!

parent

[–] bitjunkie@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago (1 child)

Shakespeare's work has a lot of dirty jokes, they're just made with terminology modern English speakers don't know or don't realize was dirty back then.

parent

[–] tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip 2 points 3 days ago

And some of his lines are overt even to people today, like "What, with my tongue in your tail?" or when he uses a character named Bottom to make a lot of double entendres.

parent

[–] Impractical_Island@lemmy.world -4 points 3 days ago (1 child)

In my restaurant, I make all my female employees withstand uncomfortable sexual advances from me. I have lawsuits out the ass!

parent

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world 9 points 3 days ago (1 child)

Sounds like you should go to jail.

parent

[–] Impractical_Island@lemmy.world -3 points 3 days ago (1 child)

Nah, I'm allowed to do this, write funny comments on the internet, because I am the police, retard

parent

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world 2 points 3 days ago (1 child)

Your credentials check out continue on.

parent

[–] Impractical_Island@lemmy.world 1 point 3 days ago (1 child)

Ok, well, in that case, I'll take three mega bogus burgers with the twist melt nine times outta six, as well as a side of cheese fries, freaked not fried, and two cokes, one with cocaine in it the other diet, and if you could blend all that up and put it in my smoothie from this morning, I would be peaches, you crabcake dudzoltzer, you.

parent

[–] WhyIHateTheInternet@lemmy.world 5 points 3 days ago (1 child)

Would you like a side of sexual harassment to go with that?

parent

[–] Impractical_Island@lemmy.world -1 points 3 days ago

Nah, that's free like the bag fries from Five Guys. That's actually shit I love; little psychological tricks that manifest wealth for no reason besides [human condition]. Like, people disproportionately overvalue the free fries they throw in the bag, because they're the fries they didn't have to give you. That's why my dick is ALWAYS whipped out between the hours of nine to five, and then during the night, I moonlight as a prostitute. I'm not good at it, but I really enjoy embarrassing myself in a slip on that corner.