That really sucks, but I misread that as "pepperoni stabbed into the top bun", and I can only picture a slice of the cold meat slapped onto the top of a burger with a skewer holding it.

Like, does the wooden skewer represent the tree he hit and the slice of pepperoni represents the meat pancake his drunk ass turned in to? That's pretty fucked up.

Edited: Fixed my misunderstanding, but a pickled pepper doesn't make it less fucked up, because he was pickled?