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[–] 20 points 4 weeks ago (1 child)

You can sue btw. In most civilized countries, that's bodily harm and will be treated as such

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  • [–] [S] 16 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

    I think some of the difficulty lies in proving whether it was intentional, since it could be accidental or a side effect of a necessary episiotomy.

    I was astounded to learn how many women were given episiotomies without their knowledge.

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  • [–] 8 points 4 weeks ago* (2 children)

    If you can’t trust your partner to not secretly request to deform your vagina, you probably shouldn’t be having a baby with them.

    Obviously this is more nuanced, so maybe allow two people in the operating room. A partner and an advocate.

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  • [–] 7 points 4 weeks ago

    I wouldn't even joke about it and find the practice abhorrent even as a joke, but it was done to my wife (we believe) without prompting. No sex at all until cleared by the OB/GYN she saw regularly (not the doctor who did delivery or suturing) and after the first time I made her ask if anything was different and the OB/GYN told us the suturing appeared to have been done wrong because there was an overhang and scar tissue. Second episiotomy with the second child, different doctor at a different hospital, everything was fine after the healing, so it seems like we just got shit luck with the first one

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  • [–] 6 points 4 weeks ago (1 child)

    Oftentimes doctors do it without a request from the husband at all. Misogyny is intertwined with healthcare.

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  • [–] 2 points 4 weeks ago (1 child)

    White men are often handed pain medicine prescription without asking. Women and people of color often can't get it if they beg.

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  • [–] 3 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago) (2 children)

    Recently had my IUD replaced. The doctor looked me in the face and told me that they wouldn't be offering pain relief. But I could take some ibuprofen before coming in.

    My father got a standing prescription for Vicodin just for some mild back pain.

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  • [–] 2 points 4 weeks ago

    That was my experience, too. It was absolutely brutal. Luckily, I was able to have it removed when I was put under for my bisalp a few years later.

    On the other hand, I recently talked to a (male) gyno about my cycle being totally fucked up. One of the options for management was a Mirena IUD, and he told me that if I decide on that route, they'll bring me into the OR and do it with proper pain management and sedation.

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  • [–] 2 points 4 weeks ago

    That is infuriating, especially having heard tales of incorrect insertion and women suffering for weeks before the doctor decided something may be amiss and deciding to correct it.

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  • [–] 0 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

    If it's an accident, you have the duty to tell the patient. "Hey, ma'am, sorry to say, but I fucked up big time and I stitched up your vagina a bit too far. I'm terribly sorry, I can either fix it right now or, if any complications arise, please come see me again and we'll have it fixed." No issue. Mistakes happen.

    But if a doctor is doing something like that and doesn't tell you - even if it's an error - he's to be held fucking liable.

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  • [–] [S] 4 points 4 weeks ago (1 child)

    In an ideal world someone would tell you if they stitched your vagina up wrong. However, we live in a world where they don't even tell you if they've cut through your taint, if you're a woman.

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  • [–] 0 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

    Nah, as someone who has spent a fair bit of time in the healthcare industry, I can assure you that's not exclusively a woman thing. Doctors these days don't want to admit mistakes in general. Must be some kind of superiority complex.

    However, that doesn't change the fact that it's a crime and if you sue, you'll most likely win the case. Depending on the country, ofc. I'm not american, idk how it is over there, but I know of several cases in germany and austria where the doctors had to pay huge fees or even lost their license.

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  • [–] [S] 2 points 4 weeks ago

    Yes. Women have it worse in the healthcare system.

    No one will deny that doctors can be assholes to everyone, but industrialized medicine has been especially worse for women.

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  • [–] 3 points 4 weeks ago* (1 child)

    “Hey, ma’am, sorry to say, but I fucked up big time and I stitched up your vagina a bit too far. I’m terribly sorry, I can either fix it right now or, if any complications arise, please come see me again and we’ll have it fixed.” No issue. Mistakes happen.

    Doctors don't admit mistakes like that.

    Most husband stitches are done intentionally.

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  • [–] -1 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

    Then it's a crime and will be pursued as such.

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  • [–] 2 points 4 weeks ago (1 child)

    Possibly because the “husband stitch” isn’t officially defined medically, there are no clinical studies of it. Searches on PubMed and ScienceDirect (two large research databases) yield just one paper, which investigates Brazil’s high episiotomy rate (94 percent in 2004). Doctors interviewed by the research team openly refer to the use of the “ponto do marido”—husband stitch—as “intended to make the vaginal opening even tighter after delivery.”

    Just one paragraph from the article that blows that suggestion right out of the water.

    This isn't women not reporting to the right authorities causing the issues. It's systemic misogyny.

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