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Why do Asexual (Aroace) people get discriminated? (lemmy.world)
submitted 1 month ago by to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml
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They are not even doing anything sexually. Why is their inaction offending people?

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[–] 15 points 1 month ago (4 children)

Because we are herd animals that tend to pick on those we perceive as different?

That being said, are they discriminated against? Can you give examples?

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  • [–] 24 points 1 month ago* (1 child)

    Ace person here. "You just need to find the right person" and variations of that are something we often get.

    On the more malicious end of the spectrum, you get stuff like "you just need a good fucking first"

    There are also people who feel that ace people should not be included in queer pride or have their own flag/identity.

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  • [–] 5 points 1 month ago (1 child)

    I wouldn't have put "you just haven't found the right one yet" in the discrimination category. That strikes me as helpless and ignorant rather than structurally evil. But I guess it's the repetition of it.

    The "good fucking" one I'm with you. That's awful. And the pride-internal groupthink is discriminating too.

    Thanks for broadening my horizon.

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  • [–] 6 points 1 month ago (1 child)

    Structurally our societies are usually oriented around people finding romantic life partners, and the state recognizes and makes life easier for people in these relationships. Modern life, especially with the current housing shit going on in North America, is much harder if your preferred way to live is a single income person living alone. This definitely disadvantages aro/ace people, though I’m not sure I’d call it discrimination.

    Tangentially related, but I can’t miss an opportunity to bring up Elizabeth Brake’s really interesting paper, Minimizing Marriage. If the whole thing looks a little long I’d recommend reading at least chapter 7 to get the heart of her proposal, it’s a real eye opener.

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  • [–] 3 points 1 month ago

    though I’m not sure I’d call it discrimination.

    It most definitely is discrimination. Because discrimination is "treating two things differently according to a discriminator". Such as living alone or with a registered partner.

    Now, the purpose of this is obvious (having a child is expensive and a good thing in the state's eyes). Such cases where the discrimination "makes sense" (as it evens the playing field isntead of skewing it further) is usually termed as "positive" discrimination.

    But as it technically fits the core requirement of discrimination, it is discrimination.

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  • [–] 3 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

    I wish people would stop trying to fix me. I've tried sex. It doesn't work for me. I'm much happier in a relationship where that isn't a factor. But some people will always insist that I just need x y or z. Over the years I've grown disdainful of Mazlowes Heirachry of Needs since sex is listed as a need, so CLEARLY I need it, gets (incorrectly) cited to me all the time.

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