Please recommend a better place to post if this is inappropriate for the community. Sorta long, and personal

They've been clean for a little over a year. They went out with friends and one of the friends gave my partner a bottle of the thing that causes behavior problems. It makes them the worst type of drunk. They called me mostly sober and I got to hear them go from coherent to passing out over the course of a couple hours and many phone calls and being hung up on many times

I'm not sure exactly what I'm looking for. There was nothing I could do other than try to keep them on the phone and engaged but it all spiralled. Swinging from ok to hysterical to angry and back. The angry part is why I can't go get them, along with them getting to the point of absolute unreasonableness and just babbling nonsense. At points they can be combative and my showing up in person would have made everything worse

They are at a safe space where they can sleep it off. At this point I'm not worried they'll come back home angry, but I'm still vigilant for when they get back

I do not blame them because alcoholism and addiction are a lifelong disease, but I'm just not sure how to approach the next time I see them, which is presumably and hopefully in the morning

They have a therapist which they should probably get in touch with. I'm looking for a little direction. Maybe someone's dealt with addiction and relapse could chime in. I know I can't approach it with anger even though inside I'm feeling so angry and betrayed. They quit because the last time they drank, they put their hands on me

-tpyo

Edit: they're home. It's fine, they are ok though there's still a lot to talk about. Thank you for the concern and responses 💚, truly

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[–] 7 points 1 month ago

Hey, that’s a difficult situation for you and I hope you‘re still alright. It is touching that you try to be there for your partner even though they‘ve had a relapse. Firstly I want to encourage you to look out for yourself. You are their partner not their therapist. And it’s better for you both if it stays that way. Of course you can help them if you can but this is still something they have to manage themselves with the help of professionals. Especially so when you write that they get angry under the influence. But then, addiction is a chronic disease and relapses are a part of it. It’s important what they think about it once they are sober again. And it’s good that you’ve set boundaries to keep you safe. You should tell them again what your boundaries are once they’re sober again, maybe encourage them to seek help, tell them you’re there for them as a partner but that you can’t fix and their addiction and can’t tolerate them consuming. It is good for them to see your anger and your love. I hope they and you will see through this! Source: studying to be a social worker to work with addicts.

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