Alright, I'll bite too despite knowing you've already made your mind up and will interpret this in bad faith.

Lyft obviously does not give a single fuck about safety, they are a corporation in the United States. It just doesn't compute. This is very clearly a move for optics and perhaps marketing, which OP has so kindly done for them. If they gave a shit they would have a proper vetting process for their drivers instead of this. Calling this move half-assed is a too generous. This doesn't protect women from serious threats from any motivated bad actor. Sex pests will say they are a trans woman, which Lyft will never verify due to negligence and optics. Traffickers will employ women to drive for them, which is already a somewhat common practice in general.

The joke is about how capitalism creates problems in society and the pretends to solve them in ways that seem productive on the surface. In actuality, these solutions are only to enrich the system while pacifying the people it exploits, all while sowing the division capitalism thrives on. The joke is hyperbole taking this notion to the extreme.

Allow me to restate that it's a JOKE, the purpose is to be funny, and it's not that serious. It was funny to me, clearly it was funny to some others based on the votes. As with all jokes, not everyone needs to get it.