Eh, you can circle back through nihilism into absurdism, and wind up in a place close enough to self-confidence to actually turn into it eventually.

Ask me how I know.

Have you considered growing past that? /s. Stupid joke aside, wholly relatable for lots -- including myself -- i imagine.

I believe where we differ is the degree. I do still learn new things for fun and whatnot, but if there is ever a time I am NOT doing that (besides work, sleep, or helping society as a whole in some other way), I've been conditioned to feel guilty. Like, if I'm not growing at all times, then I am personally spitting on the graves of all my ancestors