every pirate related theme song getting increasingly louder in the background

You must have a lot of Linux ISO backups. Doing your part to preserve open source software history.

Nintendo has been putting anti-piracy protection in all of their consoles since the NES in the 80's. Every single one was cracked eventually. Oh, but surely they must be getting better? Nope, the Switch was cracked less than a year from release.

And Nintendo controls the hardware in this situation. Streaming services do not.

The only way to do that, is to kill humanity.