▲ 264 ▼ UK passes "online safety" bill making end-to-end encryption impossible (www.reuters.com) submitted 2 years ago by El_Dorado@beehaw.org to c/privacy@lemmy.ml 91 comments fedilink hide all child comments
[+] nosurprises@lemm.ee 108 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (2 children) [deleted] permalink fedilink source hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] El_Dorado@beehaw.org [S] 56 points 2 years ago (2 children) Haha yes also incredibly that they had to point out this sentence "Tech companies have said scanning messages and end-to-end encryption are fundamentally incompatible." Very astonishing how there are some fundamental lacks of understanding from politicians advertising this. Or all on purpose permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] thefartographer@lemm.ee 33 points 2 years ago (2 children) Tech companies have said scanning messages and end-to-end encryption are fundamentally incompatible. That's not a given. Imagine messaging is like you trying to pass a note to a classmate in school. End-to-end encryption is like using a cypher based on your friend's social security number, crumpling up the note, and then shoving the note up Tommy's ass for them to deliver it to your buddy. Pretty standard note-passing stuff. Adding the ability for the government to scan your messages is like being that kid who can't write without mouthing or whispering what you're writing. Then the teacher says "got it! Don't worry, I definitely definitely won't discuss this in the beak room with the other teachers!" And then gives you a big reassuring wink and a smile while you shove the note up Tommy's ass. See how everyone gets to have fun in the second scenario? The best part is knowing that no teacher ever has ever done anything bad. The end. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] Devjavu@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 2 years ago (2 children) Why must you shove things up my ass? Please stop. I am in pain. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] ArmoredThirteen@lemmy.ml 7 points 2 years ago Sounds like a skill issue permalink fedilink source parent [–] jago@lemmy.ca 3 points 2 years ago Add more RAM. Oh, wait... permalink fedilink source parent [–] Zelet@beehaw.org 8 points 2 years ago I have no idea what your point was but I’m still laughing. permalink fedilink source parent [–] krolden@lemmy.ml 2 points 2 years ago I'm not surprised at all permalink fedilink source parent [–] HughJanus@lemmy.ml -4 points 2 years ago (1 child) Not really. Different websites will treat you differently depending on what country you're accessing them from. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] magikmw@lemm.ee 11 points 2 years ago (1 child) Ah if Internet was only websites, life would be easier. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [+] thefartographer@lemm.ee -6 points 2 years ago It is! That's what the w in www stands for. Also a totally real fact: putting the "s" at the end of https:// is what makes it secure and it works on other things as well. Eating a brownie is unsecure and dangerous, but brownies has better security and should be consumed frequently. Here's some more examples of other everyday items that you can easily secure: Oreo❎ Oreos☑️ Sock❎ Socks☑️ Fart❎ Farts☑️ Douche Canoe❎ Douche Canoes☑️ Items that can't be secured without modification: Potato❎ Potatoes☑️❔ Hamburger Patty❎ Hamburger Patties☑️❔ Fish❎ Fishes☑️❔ Serial Killer With a Knife❎ Serial Killer With Some Knives☑️❔ Please note that for every rule, there is an exception. Take Deer for example. Deer can't be secured. Fuck Deer, the lazy unencrypted bastards... permalink fedilink source parent
[–] El_Dorado@beehaw.org [S] 56 points 2 years ago (2 children) Haha yes also incredibly that they had to point out this sentence "Tech companies have said scanning messages and end-to-end encryption are fundamentally incompatible." Very astonishing how there are some fundamental lacks of understanding from politicians advertising this. Or all on purpose permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] thefartographer@lemm.ee 33 points 2 years ago (2 children) Tech companies have said scanning messages and end-to-end encryption are fundamentally incompatible. That's not a given. Imagine messaging is like you trying to pass a note to a classmate in school. End-to-end encryption is like using a cypher based on your friend's social security number, crumpling up the note, and then shoving the note up Tommy's ass for them to deliver it to your buddy. Pretty standard note-passing stuff. Adding the ability for the government to scan your messages is like being that kid who can't write without mouthing or whispering what you're writing. Then the teacher says "got it! Don't worry, I definitely definitely won't discuss this in the beak room with the other teachers!" And then gives you a big reassuring wink and a smile while you shove the note up Tommy's ass. See how everyone gets to have fun in the second scenario? The best part is knowing that no teacher ever has ever done anything bad. The end. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] Devjavu@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 2 years ago (2 children) Why must you shove things up my ass? Please stop. I am in pain. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] ArmoredThirteen@lemmy.ml 7 points 2 years ago Sounds like a skill issue permalink fedilink source parent [–] jago@lemmy.ca 3 points 2 years ago Add more RAM. Oh, wait... permalink fedilink source parent [–] Zelet@beehaw.org 8 points 2 years ago I have no idea what your point was but I’m still laughing. permalink fedilink source parent [–] krolden@lemmy.ml 2 points 2 years ago I'm not surprised at all permalink fedilink source parent
[–] thefartographer@lemm.ee 33 points 2 years ago (2 children) Tech companies have said scanning messages and end-to-end encryption are fundamentally incompatible. That's not a given. Imagine messaging is like you trying to pass a note to a classmate in school. End-to-end encryption is like using a cypher based on your friend's social security number, crumpling up the note, and then shoving the note up Tommy's ass for them to deliver it to your buddy. Pretty standard note-passing stuff. Adding the ability for the government to scan your messages is like being that kid who can't write without mouthing or whispering what you're writing. Then the teacher says "got it! Don't worry, I definitely definitely won't discuss this in the beak room with the other teachers!" And then gives you a big reassuring wink and a smile while you shove the note up Tommy's ass. See how everyone gets to have fun in the second scenario? The best part is knowing that no teacher ever has ever done anything bad. The end. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] Devjavu@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 2 years ago (2 children) Why must you shove things up my ass? Please stop. I am in pain. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] ArmoredThirteen@lemmy.ml 7 points 2 years ago Sounds like a skill issue permalink fedilink source parent [–] jago@lemmy.ca 3 points 2 years ago Add more RAM. Oh, wait... permalink fedilink source parent [–] Zelet@beehaw.org 8 points 2 years ago I have no idea what your point was but I’m still laughing. permalink fedilink source parent
[–] Devjavu@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 2 years ago (2 children) Why must you shove things up my ass? Please stop. I am in pain. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] ArmoredThirteen@lemmy.ml 7 points 2 years ago Sounds like a skill issue permalink fedilink source parent [–] jago@lemmy.ca 3 points 2 years ago Add more RAM. Oh, wait... permalink fedilink source parent
[–] ArmoredThirteen@lemmy.ml 7 points 2 years ago Sounds like a skill issue permalink fedilink source parent
[–] Zelet@beehaw.org 8 points 2 years ago I have no idea what your point was but I’m still laughing. permalink fedilink source parent
[–] HughJanus@lemmy.ml -4 points 2 years ago (1 child) Not really. Different websites will treat you differently depending on what country you're accessing them from. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] magikmw@lemm.ee 11 points 2 years ago (1 child) Ah if Internet was only websites, life would be easier. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [+] thefartographer@lemm.ee -6 points 2 years ago It is! That's what the w in www stands for. Also a totally real fact: putting the "s" at the end of https:// is what makes it secure and it works on other things as well. Eating a brownie is unsecure and dangerous, but brownies has better security and should be consumed frequently. Here's some more examples of other everyday items that you can easily secure: Oreo❎ Oreos☑️ Sock❎ Socks☑️ Fart❎ Farts☑️ Douche Canoe❎ Douche Canoes☑️ Items that can't be secured without modification: Potato❎ Potatoes☑️❔ Hamburger Patty❎ Hamburger Patties☑️❔ Fish❎ Fishes☑️❔ Serial Killer With a Knife❎ Serial Killer With Some Knives☑️❔ Please note that for every rule, there is an exception. Take Deer for example. Deer can't be secured. Fuck Deer, the lazy unencrypted bastards... permalink fedilink source parent
[–] magikmw@lemm.ee 11 points 2 years ago (1 child) Ah if Internet was only websites, life would be easier. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [+] thefartographer@lemm.ee -6 points 2 years ago It is! That's what the w in www stands for. Also a totally real fact: putting the "s" at the end of https:// is what makes it secure and it works on other things as well. Eating a brownie is unsecure and dangerous, but brownies has better security and should be consumed frequently. Here's some more examples of other everyday items that you can easily secure: Oreo❎ Oreos☑️ Sock❎ Socks☑️ Fart❎ Farts☑️ Douche Canoe❎ Douche Canoes☑️ Items that can't be secured without modification: Potato❎ Potatoes☑️❔ Hamburger Patty❎ Hamburger Patties☑️❔ Fish❎ Fishes☑️❔ Serial Killer With a Knife❎ Serial Killer With Some Knives☑️❔ Please note that for every rule, there is an exception. Take Deer for example. Deer can't be secured. Fuck Deer, the lazy unencrypted bastards... permalink fedilink source parent
[+] thefartographer@lemm.ee -6 points 2 years ago It is! That's what the w in www stands for. Also a totally real fact: putting the "s" at the end of https:// is what makes it secure and it works on other things as well. Eating a brownie is unsecure and dangerous, but brownies has better security and should be consumed frequently. Here's some more examples of other everyday items that you can easily secure: Oreo❎ Oreos☑️ Sock❎ Socks☑️ Fart❎ Farts☑️ Douche Canoe❎ Douche Canoes☑️ Items that can't be secured without modification: Potato❎ Potatoes☑️❔ Hamburger Patty❎ Hamburger Patties☑️❔ Fish❎ Fishes☑️❔ Serial Killer With a Knife❎ Serial Killer With Some Knives☑️❔ Please note that for every rule, there is an exception. Take Deer for example. Deer can't be secured. Fuck Deer, the lazy unencrypted bastards... permalink fedilink source parent