Nope. I took a train to pick up a car and drove back two weeks ago (selling the existing car got me a better deal than trading in, so I was briefly carless). The car was faster because I didn't have to change three times and I could actually go directly to where I wanted to go. Instead of waiting and waiting and then having to walk the last part in the sun.

Again, lack of investment. If I tie your legs together and race you, it doesn't prove that I'm faster than you. Cars have had an extraordinary amount of money invested into their infrastructure. If we invested a fraction of that into trains, they'd be faster.

My car is electric.

Where does your electricity come from? Could it not be used to remove dirty energy from the grid? Energy is energy. It doesn't matter if it comes from petroleum, natural gas, sunlight, wind, whatever. It can be used to do a certain amount of work. That can be for individual cars carrying probably one person at a time, or it can be used for a train of some form carrying hundreds or more people at a time. The train is more efficient. Also, many trains are electric, just not in the US (see: lack of investment). The smart infrastructure runs power alongside rail, since you need to clear the space anyway, and provide an overhead power connection to trains.

Air conditioned, comfortable faux leather seats that didn't have stains on them, I got sit down for the entire journey, I wasn't bothered by strangers, I went directly to my destination.

Who bothers people in public transport? Public transport can have all those things (probably won't have faux leather, but who wants that anyway?), but much more convenient. Some trains will have observation spaces and benches and things even, along with likely nicer bathrooms than whatever gas station you stop at.

I've taken the DC metro many times. I used to live in the area. I was never bothered and it was always relatively clean. The air conditioner worked fine always. I understand the DC metro is likely the best, or at least close it, in the US, but it doesn't need to be an outlier.

You're comparing your experience with an under-invested in system to an over-invested in one and saying the over-invested one is better. No shit. No one is arguing with that. We're saying it could be significantly better if the investment was put in.

We can see this in other countries. In Switzerland, every village is connected by train that arrives frequently and reliably. The terrain there is really horrible, yet they've invested in trains and created a system that works well. If it can be done there, it can be done in the relatively flat US. Hell, we already did it before, back before lobbying and profiteering destroyed it. I'm sure you know the story of time zones. It was to make train schedules make sense, because passenger trains arrived relatively on time relatively reliably.

You can see the influence of car manufacturers all over. Did you know the US is the only country to have jay-walking laws? They were created to cede the roads from the people to cars. Technically, pedestrians still have the right-of-way, but we pretty much aren't allowed to walk on roads anymore. We had "car safety" pushed into our schools to ensure children "knew" that the roads belonged to cars. They do everything in their power to tell us that they deserve something so they can sell more cars. They also tell us the only way public transportation can exist is the way you describe it. It isn't true though. Plenty of places have good public transport. They have crippled it where possible though so the only reasonable option available is their cars.