We do exactly the same job.

To me the idea of enjoying a job is an odd one: I don’t want to work, I only work because I need the money. If I had money I wouldn't work.

I don't know if this makes me the oddest person on earth, but where I am my coworkers sometimes make me feel so.

She asked me if I enjoy my job. I looked at her surprised while thinking to answer her with a regular blanket manager answer like ‘it is such a honor to work here, fuck yeah, I’d love to work here for free!’ or being completely sincere.

I was in a good mood, so I chose being sincere: ‘I don’t enjoy working, I work because I need to pay for the rest of my life, I enjoy cooking, writing poetry and walking through a forest.’

She looked at me a bit surprised and replied: ‘but you have to like your job.’ My answer? ‘As long as I earn money all’s good.’

This happened in a big room with like 9 coworkers hearing the convo.

Now I don’t know if I just committed job suicide where I work at, but it was liberating saying out loud at the workplace what I think a job is.

And why the fixation that you must like a job? It’s a job for fucks sake. Why do you have to like it?

To me this only confirms my current job is a cult. Am I exaggerating?

If every workplace is like this I should stick with the devil I know...

you be the judge: the extra, unpaid hours most people willingly do setting the expectation you do that too, some people coming in 30 minutes before the shift starts and proud of it (what for? Are you going to be paid more?), obsession with presenting a good image to both coworkers and clients, the fake interest in getting to know you, conversations that feel scripted, forcing you to share about you, controlling the way you speak, yelling at the foreign coworkers when they don’t speak English among themselves, taking your breaks together with the whole group, ostracizing you if you want to take your break alone, getting snippy if you state boundaries (“I don’t talk about that with coworkers”), some people ranting openly and loudly in a room full of people about a coworker they don’t like for whatever perceived sling, your manager expecting you to enjoy her stories (no, I don’t really care about you, Andrea), then expecting you to be the one doing the most demanding tasks nobody wants to do.

I even have coworkers complaining I waste too much paper and that’s bad for the company. Who gives a flying fuck about that Karen? I really don’t understand why some people are like this.

Holy shit, I was so naive. I don’t know if every workplace is like this, but I just didn’t question it and went along with it because 2 years ago the workplace seemed good enough and pays better than everyone around afaik. I don’t know if I should look elsewhere.

If I start applying elsewhere, do I even mention this? Because I don’t want this to happen to me again.

There is a chance this also happens elsewhere. Do I stick with the devil I know?

I don't understand his strategy, he answers the prosecutor' questions extremely vaguely. I don't know if I could act like that if called as a witness.

Is this something I should imitate when dealing with HR?

I don't understand why how he answers is not lying.

On an email with my manager I described a coworker I only worked with once as a small, thin woman that was either born in an East Asian country or has East Asian parents. I don't know this person's name. I don't see a better way to describe her all things considered.

The managers answer: it is disrespectful to describe people according to ethnic background or physical appearance.

My next question for this manager: dear manager, how should I describe this person then?

I don't know if I'm being genuinely disrespectful or this is a very thin skinned manager. Either way, I had to work with another coworker I didn't know either. This conversation with manager B ensued:

manager B: 'today you're working with mike'

me: 'who's mike?'

manager B: 'that fat guy'

make it make sense.

cross-posted from: https://linux.community/post/3420358

as said previously I'm a nurse, which means the overwhelming majority of employees are women. Gossiping, being unauthentic, cattiness and passive aggressiveness is a daily occurrence.

My current unit: there are 2 men that seem to be completely stoic (I don't know what word would describe them better): they ignore drama and jabs, even if directed at them, they are punctual with their pauses, I mean really, 30 minutes and that's it, and can ignore when other coworkers lazy around, even if it means they have to be the ones doing most of the work, extra work they don't receive any extra money or recognition for.

I am writing in awe, because as much as I'd like to be this thick skinned, I am not. The feeling of being treated unfairly rubs me the wrong way really fast. My strategy so far has been to lazy around so much as my direct coworkers, even if they're part of an established group at the ward I don't belong to. They're the ones supposed to be showing me around and teach me. If they don't work, why should I?

I believe this is a trait of mine, something nearly impossible to change, it would make more sense to change the setting than trying to change me, to change jobs. I don't know how to play this game where I am, in a workplace where most employees are women.

But my question remains to all of you who are this thick skinned: how? I don't understand it. Don't you find it tiring? Doesn't it make you feel like shit when you go back home? Don't you feel taken advantage of?

cross-posted from: https://linux.community/post/3347155

and what would be the point of lying?

I applied to 2 positions and got one. On both counts I shadowed for a day and was sincere.

Job 1 offered me a position I took.

Why I think the second job rejected me: I was assigned to 2 coworkers who started prying inquisitively about my job experience and expectations. I told them I don't want to go back home with back or leg pain or feeling broken, I don't mind doing my pause after 7 hours of working and not 4 but I actually NEED my pause, one every day, I also told them I don't live to work but the other way round (this is nursing).

Apparently they told management all this because during my interview with the c suite they mentioned what other coworkers think about me.

I still believe if you need a job, please do lie because you need the money. I was sincere this time because a union member told me to clearly state what you want in the beginning, so there are no uncomfortable situations afterwards.

I'm also a terrible actor, so maybe this was for the better?

This makes me value authenticity even more because one of those suites, a woman, used the strategy of faking being close to you (smiles, modulating her voice...) so you believe she actually cares about you so you let your guard down.

even though I got the other job it still stings because I was rejected for being authentic. Am I wrong?

So, in the future, do I keep being authentic or do I feed management BS? Feeding them BS always worked in the past.

I've observed if I say nothing (because I simply don't know how to react), opinionated people think you agree with them, which I don't. I don't care.

what I want to tell him, next time he starts ranting: 'I don't care what you think, leave me alone'.

However, I may have to work with this person in the future, so what about 'you don't have to tell me everything you think, most of the time I don't pay attention' and if he keeps pushing it 'it's tiring working with a person who has to rant to feel good, it's boring and makes me ignore you, which is a problem, because we work together.' And leave.

What about 'everybody has problems, maybe talk to a therapist? I cannot help you'.

Or maybe simply leaving when he starts his rants?

I always thought of it like this: if a workplace makes you feel devalued or is toxic (gaslighting and ranting about you behind your back), you quietly find new pastures.

Now, however, I think this is the wrong approach: why do I have to accept they bully me? I should defend myself. And doesn't the manager have to make sure a workplace ain't toxic? Instead of quietly looking for a new job next time this happens, wouldn't it be better to confront, document and escalate instead of letting it go? even if HR only exists to protect the company and not me.

If HR and manager do nothing to address the problem, wouldn't it be a better strategy to start working the least possible and let the company fire me, while looking for another job?

• Being a team player: where I am it means listening to boring stories of the office gossip, who happens to be management’s favorite. This person has been here 20 years and is not going to leave till she retires, think another 20 years. I find her draining and don’t understand how she cannot shut up. She is like a 14 year old. Nobody ever contradicts her and her talking sessions can last 40 minutes.

• Doing my job: this would mean getting report, staying there for 3 minutes tops as a courtesy and then getting up to do my job. This would also mean I work more than them, because I start before them and go home at the same time like the rest of my coworkers.

Before you answer do consider: where I work there are usually very good ratios and I usually have a helper and that takes a considerable amount of job off my hands. Were I to work at another unit, I’d have to invariably work more.

I’m not sure I want to do my job, I don’t see what would I gain from it. The obvious choice here seems to be to become like the rest of my coworkers and pretend to pay attention to the gossip: you get away with working less.

I don’t know, maybe you see advantages waking up to do my job?

If you ever were in a situation like this, what did you do?

to state the obvious, I cannot do both, because it drains me.

• Being a team player: where I am it means listening to boring stories of the office gossip, who happens to be management’s favorite. This person has been here 20 years and is not going to leave till she retires, think another 20 years. I find her draining and don’t understand how she cannot shut up. She is like a 14 year old. Nobody ever contradicts her and her talking sessions can last 40 minutes.

• Doing my job: this would mean getting report, staying there for 3 minutes tops as a courtesy and then getting up to do my job. This would also mean I work more than them, because I start before them and go home at the same time like the rest of my coworkers.

Before you answer do consider: where I work there are usually very good ratios and I usually have a helper and that takes a considerable amount of job off my hands. Were I to work at another unit, I’d have to invariably work more.

I’m not sure I want to do my job, I don’t see what would I gain from it. The obvious choice here seems to be to become like the rest of my coworkers and pretend to pay attention to the gossip: you get away with working less.

I don’t know, maybe you see advantages waking up to do my job?

If you ever were in a situation like this, what did you do?

to state the obvious, I cannot do both, because it drains me.

People don’t quit jobs, they quit managers and coworkers. In my case I’d quit some coworkers and sometimes my manager.

But others coworkers are good ones I like working with, and the workplace is not very far, meaning my commute is so small I can bike there. There’s lots of downtime as well and sometimes my biggest trouble is how not to die of boredom listening to my coworkers’ boring stories because they feel offended if I don’t sit with them. I’m unionized.

I like keeping to myself and deciding what kind of people I want in my private life. Most of my coworkers are not this kind of people. I’ve been called a loner, which is actually true and it’s not a problem unless people bully me for it (because they feel offended by my silence, apparently). My biggest problem is office drama. However, wherever I go, there’s always going to be drama, so wouldn’t it be wiser to stay with the bad I already know?

I don’t get drama. It’s a waste of everyone’s time.