[–] 2 points 2 years ago

I don't have it in me to be grateful for positive things, I can only praise the absence of problems.

  1. That I don't need to go outside to use the bathroom
  2. That my wager that if I just wait long enough my skin will clear up and I don't need to spend a small fortune on products has paid off
  3. That I don't have chronic physical pain
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  • [–] 3 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    If you desire romantic companionship, start by making non-romantic friends?

    I tend to agree. For me, an otherwise unfulfilled person looking for a fulfilling successful romantic relationship is kind of like a poor person trying to become a millionaire. You should take care of your basic needs before aiming for something that, probably, few people ever realistically get to have.

    That said, overwhelmingly, what I want is friendship (love and understanding) but it's much, much harder to find ways to meet people for friendship than a romantic relationship. There is no friendship app on the same level as the dating apps. People who want to get in my pants text back much more reliably than potential friends I meet even irl. I shouldn't complain because having a lot of suitors is a pleasant problem to have but I work unsociable hours and on more days than I care to admit, the only human contact I get outside of work is on dating apps, which is not a happy situation for me.

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  • [–] [S] 2 points 2 years ago (2 children)

    It's precisely bc it's such a huge topic that i'm reaching out for help lol! Region doesn't matter but my immediate interest is closer to the aesthetic than the academic side of the spectrum atm, so I'm looking for visual highlights more than other kinds of salience/importance. I just need a rundown of what's iconic (or looks like it ought to be)

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    Heyo!

    I'm looking for some rock art. I've been familiarising myself bit by bit but I'd really appreciate being pointed to some sites by the following criteria (in order of importance):

    • the best-preserved rock art, a la Lascaux & such (and/or the most striking--which is not quite the same thing! emphasis on the former since the latter is more subjective :))

    • especially which depicts non-human life (other animals & so on) or part-humans (but the less anthropocentric the more it appeals to me)

    • and especially anything from the neolithic or (bonus points!!) before! Paleolithic is my main interest, I'm not really interested in anything after literacy :)

    Thank you SO much!! Any advice on specific sites or where/how to search under this criteria super appreciated!!

     

    Hi all, I'm really looking for some help. I need to create a reliable system of backing up and data storage. I'm not tech-savvy (will work on that when it's a priority in my life, which it definitely can't be right now) and I'm asking this community because it's forward-thinking and aligns with my values. There are things I have right now, on paper and digitally, that I want to be able to retrieve at least a decade from now (and we'll check in on how the situation changes and what's worth keeping or printing out etc then). Most of the stuff bouncing about in my brain is the conventional advice:

    1. The age-old "at least three places"
    2. Don't store what I don't strictly need
    3. Accessible & simple: the less I have to fiddle, the more sustainable it is (kind of seems to conflict with 1)
    4. Privacy-first, don't trust clouds, etc (kind of sems to conflict with 1, too!)

    I'm not sure (a) if there are any other principles to keep in mind while designing a system that works for me or (b) how this might translate into practical advice about hardware or software solutions. If anything has or hasn't worked for you personally, please share. My daily driver is a LineageOS tablet and it's not clear to me how to best keep its data safe.

     

    Plants react to and communicate with their environment in sometimes surprising ways that enhance their survival in changing conditions. Does this constitute intelligence? Can you have intelligence without a brain? What do we owe plants? Maybe a little overlong and meandering but important piece. It's a decade old so I wonder how the research has developed since then.

     

    So, obviously, a beginner wants to start with a hardy plant, and I guess a cheap one, and one suited for the conditions the houseplant will be living in, and one they like the look of. But my intention with this hobby is to become more connected with my environment, not to exploit it in the way most convenient for me. I want to understand: what is a good, or minimally harmful, houseplant? Are the ecological footprints very different between different houseplants? I've been told that if you live above a certain floor on an apartment planting natives isn't important since pollinators don't get up to your level anyway--is that accurate? Do people ever uhhh...just like scoop up plants growing around them and just pot them and grow them at home? Are all plants that would thrive as houseplants commercially available or is what's commercially available mostly influenced by other factors like subjective/cultural aesthetic value & hardiness under transport conditions & stuff like that?

    [–] 1 point 2 years ago

    What do you use for TTS? I'm interested in both a service that'll turn a PDF into an audiobook and that reads a document line-by-line. I use Librera for the latter but the FOSS voices available on F-Droid leave a lot to be desired.

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  • [–] 3 points 2 years ago (3 children)

    How integrated are you into the local community? How well do you speak the local language? I'm a foreigner living abroad and I would never trust either my own perception of this place nor 99% of other foreigners' perceptions.

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    Being federated doesn't make Lemmy psychologically healthy, it's still a descendant of a design paradigm meant to extract your attention. Every time I see something I didn't want to see, that's a moment of effort to redirect my attention back to things I consider worthwhile. I only have so much time and so much effort. A large part of me just wants to call it quits but I need a way to talk about stuff I can't talk to anyone IRL about, so I'm trying it for now.

    I really don't like that the default page (at least on lemmy.world) is "all." I'd like to turn off that page or mass block almost every community but I don't know that the technology exists to do either of those.

    Anything folks do to waste less time & make Lemmy work for them?

     

    These past few months I've come back to reading novels for the first time, really, since I was a kid. I just read them an alternative to scrolling, though, so I don't really pay much attention. When I sit down to watch a film, I try to make sure my mind is clear, my environment is undistracting, and I try to watch observantly and engage on multiple levels. Not always easy to maintain that level of attention even for a 1.5-3h movie, to try to do so for a novel seems unreasonable. I've felt mostly indifferent about the novels I've been reading during this streak. I had one moment where I felt moved but I can't really speak eloquently as to why or how. I have too many goals that matter infinitely more to me to make becoming a more refined conscientious fiction reader a goal, but I'm curious by-the-by how other (more experienced?) people approaach their reading.

     

    I'm here seeking advice from those further along in their fitness journey than I am about the mental aspect of fitness as well as about some concrete knowledge. I'm a beginner and in the past I've had a lot of success in staying pretty consistent. 90% of anything is showing up. A golden rule for beginners is find an exercise you love doing and then you'll show up for it.

    That's great advice. But there's limits, right? If you want to get strong you'll just...have to do some stuff you don't like. I can't jut play soccer all day, not least because the weather or outside forces don't permit it.

    So there's another complementary approach: habit formation, and this is mostly what I rely on. In fact, I see a lot of people talk about how they hate their exercise (running and rowing especially) but they do it anyway--this abilty is inscrutable to me except in light of environmental conditions & habit. The point is that my life and environment are engineered where it's almost the path of least resistance to do my workout plan. I don't love, own, or identify with the workout program I do except by identifying with (1) the successes when I pull it off and (2) the fact that it's incidentally a part of my daily life--I identify with it the same way I identify with any other incidental habit in my life, like my commute, which I don't love or have sentimentality about otherwise. I think there is a subtle emotional cost to ragdolling yourself like this but it's more than worth it because of all of the practical benefits of exercise as well as the feeling of accomplishment.

    But, the key word earlier being...almost the path of least resistance. And I think when inevitably Life Happens (TM) and the habit is broken the emotional cost of ragdolling has to be paid. Once the habit is broken and the path of least resistance is simply to not, the identification-by-habit is gone by definition bc the habit no longer exists, and the identification-by-success is gone because there's been a failure. There are a few ways I can respond to this situation, I think:

    • Be forced to keep going. Extremely hard, virtually impossible, to force oneself against both the inherent difficulty of an exercise you don't love and the emotional baggage of having failed. To get back on track with the next day of the program is...very hard. Possible with a PT or gym buddy or other support but assume one doesn't have this.
    • Summon up self-compassion out of thin air to void the aforementioned emotional baggage. This is basically as inscrutable to me as saying "cast a magic spell to solve the problem." What? How? Everything only works by the logic of effort and reward. God can give grace, I don't think I have that power wthin me.
    • Go back a few steps in the program and ease oneself back in. Gentleness and momentum. Very sensible and I think extremely doable when there is an impetus to do anything, anything at all.
    • Put a break on the current program and find other ways to move and develop a loving, joyful relationship with one's body and exercise. I think this, too, is a great idea. But because I'm a beginner, the advice I've been given is just "pick a tried-and-tested program and follow it." I don't really want to pick another effective but similarly impersonal program, that doesn't solve the ragdolling problem. But I don't just wanna flail around and do things that have no benefit to me whatsoever and risk backsliding entirely on the gainszsz I do have.

    So, two questions: any responses to how I look at working out/programming, does this reflect your own perspectives earlier in your journey or now? And: how do I assess what to pick for joyful, loving, reparative, but still-effective movement? When it comes to food, there are lots of micronutrients and flavours that can guide my decision-making. When it comes to movement, is it the set of muscles I move? Is it the type of movement (squat, row, etc)? Is it the quality of the movement (power, etc)? Where do people learn this stuff?

     

    In which Bateson argues that the efficacy of Alcoholics Anonymous is (in a Western, Cartesian context) comes at least in part from providing a more correct epistemology/ontology that subsumes a reified "self" into a larger system/circuit. The alcoholic is, by "hitting bottom," forced to shift from a destructive symmetrical to a complementary pattern of relation with the system.

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