I bought a Fairphone 5 when they were somewhat new and immediately flashed an alternative ROM onto it (CalyxOS at the time, though now it's iodeOS as Calyx appears to have gone on hiatus).

Nothing terrible bug-wise, but I have already had to return the phone to be repaired for a fault I couldn't repair by swapping parts out myself... Which considering it's apparently got a number of years ahead of it before it officially gets dropped is a bit worrying.

None of those listed are decentralised or Discord-like though, except maybe Matrix, which in theory does both but in practice fails at basically everything

Ahh crap my cover is blown

We reckon we only ate approx. one tin of beans each in total. So about as bad as you'd expect from that!

The H&B ones were absolutely awful. They were loaded up with all kinds of herby flavours that just ruined it. Like someone had just haphazardly emptied their spice shelf into there without caring about which ones are actually going to work.

They were also one of the more expensive ones on the list!

Hope this picture does it justice! I dunno if they're haricots or what to be honest. You can also see the fancy pizza sauce they were steeped in quite clearly.

These were my personal favourite, but they're awful for normal bean usage. The sauce was like what you'd get on a fancy Italian pizza, and the beans themselves were massive. So, delicious but no good with a full English or on toast.

Also if you look at the photo of the tin pyramid, they're the little jar you can see up front. So not only are the jars mad pricey, they're also tiny.

I saw one posted somewhere that'd been polished to a mirror finish. It looked awesome, but then I remembered how much more dangerous such a thing would be on the road and I shelved it into the "cool, but fuck no" part of my brain

Ahh fair enough! Yeah, not sure about all that.

A very long time ago I remember there being FUSE filesystems that allow you to mount a .torrent like a network drive. I have no idea if these are still kicking though. Still doesn't provide all of your extra bullet points but might be a good start to the rabbit hole

I suppose this explains why I keep having to move Funkwhale servers every few months because they keep shutting down (That and the usual "server costs outweighing the donation pot" issue).

Shit me, 200gb in metadata, 2.2TB in cover art before we even touch a piece of music! Wild

Torrents manage this without any extra tech. Just grab the .torrent file, and only select the files you have space for. Download them then seed, and get your 150 friends to do different files. If I then go to download a file that's in your batch, the download will happen from your server (and whoever else is seeding these files), and if I go to download a file that's on one of your 150 others' server it'll download from there.