top 50 comments

sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] 51 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Bad idea. Last time someone did this we ended up with this timeline.

  • source
  • hideshow 3 child comments
  • load more comments (1 reply)
    [–] 36 points 2 years ago (2 children)

    I would go back in time and meet the people who wrote the first ever USB standard. Then I would convince them that all USB connectors have to be reversible from day one so that nobody will ever need to struggle with the 20/80 odds of getting it right on the first try. Come on, it’s two possibilities and the probability of the wrong one is at least 80%. What’s the deal with a connector like that?

  • source
  • hideshow 4 child comments
  • [+] 50 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (7 children)
  • load more comments (4 replies)
  • [–] 28 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    I'd stop the guy who went back in time to stop the first guy from smoking stuff.

  • source
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • [–] 9 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    Hey hey, edibles are a thing. Ain't gotta damage your lungs to get a buzz..

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • [–] 5 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    True.

    And you could always go back in time to stop me from stopping you from stopping the guy.

    That's why I think time travel will never allow history to be changed, and I think Rick and Morty may have done a bit about that.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • [–] 7 points 2 years ago (2 children)

    Indeed. Even the late Stephen Hawking arranged his own experiment to prove/disprove the possibility.

    Apparently it was disproven...

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hawking's_time_traveller_party

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 3 child comments
  • load more comments (1 reply)
  • [–] 26 points 2 years ago (2 children)

    Go back to 1911 and convince Taft to concede the Republican nomination to Roosevelt. That allows Roosevelt to stomp Wilson, get the US into the war before Russia left, and get the war over with years earlier.

    This prevents both Stalin and Hitler from rising to power, and prevents most of the European theater of WW2, as well as a host of other knock-on effects.

    https://youtu.be/hLiI6kXZkZI?si=YJZMmkpOH4FZQiLt

  • source
  • hideshow 4 child comments
  • [–] 6 points 2 years ago

    In this scenario Lenin does not manage to take over Russia and the warning to the world by the real life examples of Germany and Italy about the dangers of fashism does not happen either. Authoritarianism raises its ugly head later in a world with better weapons and more destructive potential for humanity.

  • source
  • parent
  • [–] 5 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    Would that prevent the space race?

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • [–] 23 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    Stop that kid from falling into Harambe’s enclosure by any means necessary.

  • source
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • load more comments (1 reply)
    [–] 15 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    I'd go back and convince that art school to accept a certain art student...

  • source
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • [+] 15 points 2 years ago
    [–] 14 points 2 years ago

    As we learned from the Butterfly Effect, changing the past only results in Ashton Kutcher getting more power.

  • source
  • [–] 13 points 2 years ago (2 children)
  • load more comments (1 reply)
    [–] 13 points 2 years ago (1 child)
  • [–] 5 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    Think of all the good I could do with a trillion dollars. I'd have to create a lot of destruction of other people's wealth to get there but they will understand. I really need a trillion dollars!

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • [–] 7 points 2 years ago

    Got to do it in stages so it doesn't look too premeditated.

    Start a online auction site where people can sell their stuff and you get a small cut of the profit.

    Then to help people on board start a payment processor company to ensure that the sellers ship their goods and that buyers pay.

    Once that has established, go public with it so that your stock sales can support the existence of your current portfolio while you dabble in other things that you know are very profitable.

    Once you have that going, which will take a few years. You can take a victory lap or two and maybe pay some PR firms to make you look like the cool rich kid on the internet that everyone wants to hang out with.

    Then you can do stuff like starting a spaceship company and helping to bring about the end of the internal combustion engine by starting an electric car company and doing some solar panel stuff.

    Eventually you'll be the richest person on the planet and then you can get to doing the really fun stuff assuming you don't like tank all of your personal reputation by blowing 20% of your net worth on a microblogging website or something while disavowing your trans daughter.

    I mean, if you're smart enough to do all the other things surely you wouldn't blow it at the five yard line like that.

  • source
  • parent
  • [–] 10 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    Save the gorilla, save the world

  • source
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • [–] 10 points 2 years ago

    I would've gone to bed earlier tonight

  • source
  • [–] 9 points 2 years ago* (2 children)

    Warn about how plastic (especially single-use) is a major pollutant, with microplastics managing to get into our organs with long term consequences we are yet to grasp.

    It did push our technology and way of living forward, but at what cost?

  • source
  • hideshow 4 child comments
  • [–] 7 points 2 years ago (2 children)

    I'd go hunt down Ronald Regan at about age 30 and empty an entire magazine of .45s into his dome while he slept.

  • source
  • hideshow 3 child comments
  • load more comments (1 reply)
    [–] 7 points 2 years ago (2 children)

    I would make sure my parents never met.

  • source
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • load more comments (2 replies)
    [–] 7 points 2 years ago (2 children)

    i would not eat the kiosk chili dogs i ate earlier—they were pretty fucking bad.

  • source
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • load more comments (2 replies)
    [–] 6 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    I think saving JFK would really alter the timeline. I doubt Nixon would have ever been president.

    Preventing the Iranian hostage crisis might also have had a huge impact.

  • source
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • [–] 6 points 2 years ago (3 children)

    I would try to save the roman republic and prevent the roman kindgom. It would also be interesting to see what would have happend if they never switched to christianity.

  • source
  • hideshow 5 child comments
  • load more comments (1 reply)
    [–] 6 points 2 years ago

    I'd go back and write a book with just enough truths to cement myself as a soothsayer. I'd then warn of wars, eco disasters, pandemics, natural disasters. Then I'd invest some money in some good places and make sure it made it to my kids after I'm gone.

  • source
  • [–] 6 points 2 years ago (4 children)

    I'd find the first motherfucker that started smoking stuff, whether it was first tobacco or whatever, and get rid of him/her before anyone else ever learned of the practice/habit.

    Would have been better health for countless people afterwards, if simply nobody ever knew..

  • source
  • hideshow 4 child comments
  • load more comments (4 replies)
    [+] 5 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)
    [–] 4 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    I would try to prevent the Holocaust from happening.

  • source
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • [–] 4 points 2 years ago*

    A lot of things I didn't mean to, most likely.

  • source
  • load more comments
    view more: next ›