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[–] 77 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Hi Tom,

I was just taking a look at your resume, and your experience at Deceased really caught my eye! I'm especially interested in your knowledge of being missed by friends and family. Did you know that complications from heart surgery is in high demand right now?

I'm a head hunter looking for dynamic individuals who are interested in positions at an exciting new startup, and I think you'd be a perfect fit!

I hope we get a chance to chat soon!

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  • [–] 56 points 2 years ago (3 children)

    Dang. Even he got a new job. My "not selected for the position" emails are at 376 currently.

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  • [–] 26 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 child)

    The new normal. You're lucky if an actual person reads your application nowadays.

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  • [–] 11 points 2 years ago (2 children)

    I'm so exhausted. Just shoveling resumes into the void.

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  • [–] 3 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    Think of resumes like SEO. You just gotta have the right key words- best way is to pull the text from the job desc of what you’re applying to

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  • [–] 8 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    I'm starting a job search today and dreading it. There are only like 5 positions open right now that fit with my skills and also pay even close to a livable amount of money, so that's not great. Deceased sounds like a great opportunity at this point - no commute and you don't need a living wage if you're not living.

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  • [–] 5 points 2 years ago

    Nah, dude. Just wait until the deceased field gets oversaturated. All the hordes of people wandering pointlessly, everybody trampling over everyone else trying to eat the organs of the living...it's a dead end job that'll get worse with time.

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  • [–] 53 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    Oh wow this is real.

    Nice, someone congratulated him in the comments. 😂

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  • [–] 40 points 2 years ago

    Dead end job

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  • [–] 33 points 2 years ago

    This man has won capitalism

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  • [–] 31 points 2 years ago

    I'm gonna lie and put deceased on my resume too. They never check.

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  • [–] 28 points 2 years ago

    Great profession, perfect 0/0 work/life balance.

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  • [–] 21 points 2 years ago (2 children)
  • [–] 4 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    Literally the opposite. Unless he goes with cremation rather than burial, of course.

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  • [–] 8 points 2 years ago (1 child)
  • [–] 6 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    If you have a trebuchet or cannon or something to launch the urn or casket with, sure 🤷

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  • [–] 2 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    I mean, a rocket will get you past the sky, so...

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  • [–] 16 points 2 years ago
    [–] 16 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

    Talk about job security

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  • [–] 9 points 2 years ago

    It's always hard to see others living your dreams.

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  • [–] 6 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    Guaranteed this guy talked about how no one wants to work anymore, or provided 'insights' on leadership/project management

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  • [–] 34 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    IDK why I’m sticking up for a dead stranger this early but… is this kinda unfair cuz it’s just ageism? Dude might’ve been a saint or Hitler. (No, nothing in between!)

    If you’re good at reading faces I have to take back the ageism accusation :)

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  • [+] -7 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    He was a VP of some sort. You don't get that high up without drinking a little of the LinkedIn/corporate koolaid. While he could have been innovative in his management approach, it's unlikely given that management of people has evolved a lot recently. I've also worked with with a ton of people like this.

    I am good at reading faces, but that doesn't hold water in terms of assessment.

    I am judging a book by its cover, but I've read a lot of books with very similar titles

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  • [–] 11 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    He was in OEM sales. No mention of management or VP experience, literally the only thing you know about this guy is that he's old and white. You've told yourself an entire story about this guy that is entirely fictional and are presenting it as if it's got some merit which is pretty ridiculous.

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  • [–] 5 points 2 years ago
    [–] 2 points 2 years ago

    I'm currently looking for work at the cemetery as a deceased person hmu if you know anyone hiring

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  • [–] 0 points 2 years ago (2 children)