Ma boi beelz has my back

Also 3 of the versions describe the crucifixion as Christ being tied to the cross, only one of them said anything about being nailed to the cross.

Seeing it described like this, I wonder if we'll ever see an edited version that's organized more like LOTR. Throw the genealogy crap and miscellaneous garbage into a seperate book you can choose to look at if you want, and throw the main stories into their own books.

The Prophet, or There and Back Again, and Back Again. A Jewish Tale by Moses

The King of the Jews

Honestly, I bet a good fiction writer could do this really well and it'd make a lot of money. I don't know if you aim for actual religious people or make it as a parody though.

That's why they do "Bible studies", so they only read the good parts while also interpreting them to their convenience

How to turn them away from Christianity, for sure.

That's what I'd say about Nazis and mein Kampf, yet...

even today, there's memes about the first fish leaving the ocean and saying it should've gone back/stayed, since it eventually led to the present day with all it's stresses/etc. So it's probably a recurring theme throughout history of humans pining for an ignorant but blissful (or at least simple) existance.

another meme example is the meme that's like "you wake up as a lizard sunning on a rock. "Selling feet pics" to "pay student loans" quickly loses it's meaning as you lick your eyeball. Time to eat a bug."

He's a great guy and the writer has a bias against him so we let him bend the rules here and there.

Yeah I know, but drawing attention to that spoils the joke.