Keep trying with home assistant. It's the best in my opinion.

I’m going to add to the chorus of voices here advising you to stick with homeassistant. It is hands down the best open source home automation platform.

If you need help with reverse proxy let me know if you’re using nginx. There are a few header configurations that are required for the home assistant interface and I’d be glad to share my nginx configuration file.

You could also pay $6/month for nabu casa and they will proxy everything for you in the cloud.

What issues are you having with your reverse proxy? Home Assistant is light-years ahead of any other option

So I switched from OpenHAB to HA a few years ago. There's just no comparison, particularly in terms of support and add-ons.

Open source does not come with an easy button unfortunately. No matter what we suggest will leave you needing to tinker and play with things.

Home assistant really is the best option from all angles. Just have to keep tinkering.

I use home assistant and found some instructions on how to set up a free-tier cloudflare reverse proxy to access it from outside my home. Works like a charm.

Going to preface this one with an /s

You can hire a maid to assist you around the house. She can turn on and off the lights via voice command, open the blinds in the morning, lock the door when you leave, adjust the heat throught the day, open the garage door when you pull in, and so much more. You don't even need a camera to protect against pirates, for when a package arrives - she can bring it inside right away.

The privacy implications are amazing compared to other options. There's only one person watching you and you know exactly who it is. She won't sell your data to "third party partners". Most you have to worry about is her gossiping about you with her friends who are sick of hearing about some random dude on Lemmy all day.

Traditionally, there is a subscription fee. If you don't want to pay, you're best (leagl) opton is to have a kid and train them well. That will last you until you're at the age when you can't stand up and walk to the light switch, but then you can upgrade to a nurse paid for by the child who is too busy training their own child to bother with you.

Home assistant. It is simply the best option right now. Especially for amount of integrations. What are you using for a reverse proxy? I can send you my labels if you are using traefik.