You could always reset back to bald:

J/k your post reminded me of this old meme and gave me an excuse to look it up.

This really calls for a picture, or there's not much to say.

Tip: find a photo of the look you want and show it to them rather than explaining it.

I had this.

My beard wasn’t particularly long, maybe 2.5-3 inches below my chin (how do you measure a beard?) and mostly trimmed down the sides, but it needed tidying up.

Went to the barbers for a haircut and they asked if I wanted my beard doing also. I said yes, just neaten it up, but keep the length. That guy practically ran number 3 clippers over it and called it a day…

I've not been to a hairdresser in over 20 years, but occasionally do wonder what it would be like to pop back in just once as a treat.

Yeah, thanks for saving me from myself.

I feel this, deeply. I am sorry for your loss.

I have large moustache (think Nietzsche) and have nightmares about this exact scenario!

If it's any consolation, I saw the after picture and it looks great! Though I can imagine it's probably a shock considering you were so used to the before.

I've never had my beard trimmed at the barber, purely because of all the horror stories I've heard.

Plus if I trim it myself and mess it up, I don't have to pay for the privilege.

Maybe he thought you wanted to preserve the length , but you'd probably be better off trimming the chin shorter too. Charisma+1 Wisdom +1 Magic -2.

When I go in for a trim, I either show them a picture, or I tell them I want to keep is as long as possible while remaining neat and even.

Though I also make sure to stick to the same 2 barbershops

My worst nightmare. I haven't been to the barbers for just over 12 years now (thanks male pattern baldness), and I'm not sure I trust anyone with my beard except myself. If I mess it up at least I'm only mad at me.

Yours looks alright though tbh, I'd maybe just trim the bottom off that goatee bit but maybe wait till after the ZZ Top convention.

Oh man, that must be galling. At least you know it'll grow back eventually. time to look for a new barber?

Do you have examples of a before and after? Or have you provided it and I'm just clueless? Lol

Ach, that's a bastard... I've had one about the same length of time and although I've made the odd cock up over the years trimming it myself I've never gone to a barber with it. Don't think I ever will now...

The worst self inflicted beard damage I did was started to trim it without attaching a clip (I use a number 6 on it when I do to get an idea of the contrast) - had a little cut out shelf in my beard until it finally few out