I've noticed that when loading lemmy while logged in takes at least 10 seconds, often more, on both mobile and desktop, on two different instances. This includes when I'm automatically logged in, so I'd think there aren't any complicated handshakes or anything that need to be made.
When I load said instances without being logged in, it loads virtually instantly.
Usually that just means the server as a whole is slow, but your not logged in requests are being served from a cache.
Basically, a not logged in request can be answered with the same response for everyone, so the server generates the response once and then saves it to use over and over again. But, when you're logged in the response is going to be slightly different for everyone. So the server has to go through the whole process of generating the page from scratch for your exact version of it.
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