Man you guys get cubicles? I get a small section of a long desk in a row of long desks, and they are even taking that away now for a "flexible seating", where I have to reserve a desk in order to work.

They're talking about your commute on the highway to some office park in the middle of nowhere.

Here is translation from HR speak to English:

"fast-paced" - requirements change multiple times during each sprint

"exciting" - your manager will be an idiot

Mr Anderson....

I'd say this was my exact cubicle at a previous company (same exact phone and monitor!), but there is no way they'd spend the money on lamps for us.

Nothing more exciting than a monochrome box.

It should be an open floor plan. I'd honestly love a cubicle if I had to work in an office.