Need to get me some monster girls, just as viable as real ones.

There's a bunch of those in Russia.

Fgirls (self-explanatory)

What are those

B-girl is actually a thing. Or was. They were also known as bargirls.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bargirl

15-20 years ago I remember digging through my internet cache when this happened

That's when you tether your phone.

It sounds off-ful

I'm sorry

That's offsides, offline is where you go to work in a cubicle and wear a suit and tie and have meetings.

It's behind the second-last defender. The last defender is, usually, the goalie but it really doesn't matter for the call. You can also not be off-side in your own half, or after directly receiving the ball after a throw-in, goal kick or corner kick or if the ball originated from either an opposing player or from a team mate that would already be considered off-side should they receive a ball (as in your teammate defeated the defenders in regular play with the ball). Furthermore, off-side is never applied to any backward pass, it must be from a pass toward the enemy goal.

YOU WOULDN'T DOWNLOAD A GIRL!

I lay deez nuts all over your face.

They're made out of meat?