Etar allows notifications after an event has started. In your example you would have to do the math in your head but you could make it work.
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Fossify Calendar is generally great. It allows multiple reminders, but not after the start-time(just checked)
You could set the event-time as the finish-time, and set the dropoff / pickup as two reminders prior to the finish-time.
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That distorts the calender though and just viewing it might get confusing. I like the OP idea, I think I will open an issue in fossifys github tonight to add notifications after an event has started.
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