I think I want to go back, not because of reviving something from that era, but for living as I should from the very start. I would probably wouldn't struggling like I am now if I discovered my real gender waaay before.
Now I feel like I've wasted a lot of time from an era I should be able yo enjoy, but I didn't. I was busy pretending to be a cisgender male. So I really reject not being my true self and its becoming a resentment.
Like.... If I go back, I would at least try to be my real self and not get closeted as I got now
Everyone has things they'd change about their past, whether or not they're trans. But, it's useless dwelling on it now. You only have power over the future and if you get caught up in what-ifs then the past will control you. Just concentrate on being 20% cooler going forward.
The thing is... there was a time when I was about to get put of closet (as a gay man then), then stuff happened and I chickened, now as a (probably) non-binary person, I think If I were more open about my gender and oritentation probably it won't be shocking for close people, at least what I hope for.
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