And yet, unhitched from the menial task of transportation, the average horse today enjoys a far better quality of life than the average pre-car horse. Why? Horse girls. You see, now that the market demand for horses is no longer based on actual horsepower, horses can render the service of "just being themselves" for those who appreciate that most (in much more forgiving circumstances). In this way, horses truly are forever... and the real losers really are mankind. And its machines. In this essay, I will

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[+] 106 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (3 children)
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    [–] 62 points 1 year ago (6 children)

    It doesn't make sense to use automobiles. Imagine having to build out paved roads everywhere and also set up stations along these roads to refuel. Just completely impractical.

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  • [–] 40 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    Right? It would be so much cheaper if we just used to the reinforcing steel to create thin tracks which we could put much more thermally efficient and eco-friendly wheels onto. In turn, we could carry exceptionally large loads of cargo or people over vast distances for a mere fraction of the cost (monetary) and a fraction of the cost (to the world) by creating long, highly aerodynamic vehicles capable of moving at ridiculously high speeds that would be uncontrollable for the average joe on the road.

    Wait, haven't I heard of something like this before?

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    [–] 61 points 1 year ago (2 children)
  • [–] 5 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    The streets weren't a lot better when they were horse focused

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  • [–] 43 points 1 year ago (1 child)
  • [–] 39 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    Equestrians are now free from menial labor and can focus on their Only Horse accounts.

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  • [–] 33 points 1 year ago (3 children)

    Fun fact, there are more domesticated horses now then there were at the hight of horses being used as transportation. I found this out when a reporter asked Jay Leno, an avid classic car collector, if he was upset about the CA law that makes only EVs legal to sell as new cars in CA by a certain date. He said he totally approved of the measure, and that there was nothing to worry about for classic car collectors, and citing horse ownership rates.

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    [–] 29 points 1 year ago

    Cars are just a scam made up by Big Horse to sell more horsepower without actually selling any horses

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  • [–] 25 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    Hello, I am an internal combustion car. I can't go very fast unless the road is all paved, or very far unless you spend billions bringing fuel from thousand of kilometers to feed me. And if you drive me, people will think you're NOT gay!

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  • [–] 24 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    Fuck your Subaru I've a horse outside

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  • [–] 23 points 1 year ago (3 children)

    There are articles from before the automobile discussing the pollution problems with horses. Apparently horses poop, a lot.

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  • [–] 8 points 1 year ago (6 children)

    They do, but it's an easy fix. Just need a poop bag that catches it as it falls.

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    [–] 16 points 1 year ago (2 children)

    Horses, the original automatic braking

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    [–] 13 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    If cars are better than horses, why do horses still exist? Checkmate evolutionist

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  • [–] 10 points 1 year ago

    Mr. Hands enters the chat.....

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  • [–] 9 points 1 year ago

    You can't even eat your car if it died or if you are hungry!

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  • [+] 7 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 child)
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    "Horses Are Forever" is also the poorly received first draft of Sean Connery's final Eon-produced James Bond movie.

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  • [–] 7 points 1 year ago

    In Italy we eat horses, so they are also farmed for food. I bet all the horses that end up on a slice of bread or a pizza would rather have pulled a carriage. Still they are a much less popular meat, I don't think horse farming is as bad as, say, pig farming, (for the horse I mean) because there's much less demand. "Frayed threads" (lack of better translation) of horse are pretty good with olive oil btw.

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  • When your drunk, horse drives you home.

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  • [+] 7 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)
    [–] 7 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    Can you milk your car while breeding a new one?

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    [–] 6 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    And they might come with their own included "truck nuts"

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    [–] 6 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    Bro there is LITERALLY an anime about horse girls

    Humanity won

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  • [–] 5 points 1 year ago

    "Hahaha" laughs in invasive species

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