The world is waaay dummer and less fair than you think so don’t stress about things too much cause it’s rigged anyway.

Having said that, persistence does eventually get you there

Girls want to date / fuck just as much as you do... So be cool, just chill... Work on your self, be the best version of you that you can be... Work on your communication, be upfront honest and forthcoming.

You'll be fine.

"Don't marry that girl."

"Call CPS"

Doing well in school doesn't mean you don't have ADHD

Stop looking for love and learn to love yourself. You are at your best when you are alone and not torn between introversion and tending to a relationship. It's one or the other and you always default to the former. Always has been.

You're bipolar, you just hide it well.

Get your meds sorted before college or you're gonna wind up dropping out.

Also, its a seizure disorder, it just doesn't present typically; and its medication resistant. Keep trying. That alone is gonna set you back about 10 years.

You know how you think George W. Bush is the worst president we've ever had or ever will have? Well in 2017 you're going to wish he was in office. Also, go to school in a foreign country so you can be a permanent resident there.

Take that money you were saving for university and buy Apple stock. Still move to the university town and hang out on campus, but skip the tuition fees and going to class; spend the time while others are in class working for a few years and putting more money into Apple stock.

Cash out some of that money a few years later and use it for a cheap bachelor’s degree; leverage that to get into the field you want to be in.

Then later, cash out some more to buy property… say, around 2008. But keep feeding more money in.

You're never going to "find yourself" so even though you find programming mind numbingly boring learn web dev and get in early, make money, and buy amazon & nvidia stock. Don't stay local for that girl, go away to college, she's going to leave you anyway. Then I'd tell them to slap me as hard as they can since I almost entirely fucked their future.

You have autism. That's why you're so different to everybody else.

Ok, so when you're 24 you're gonna meet someone abso-fucking-lutely awesome, do not fucking say you'd rather work on your music over dating her you god damn fucking dumb piece of shit or I'll come back and beat the shit out of you.

I would tell myself to not push emotions away, since they would inevitably return as anxiety.

Hey dipshit the reason you don't feel very attached to your gender norms is because you're trans. Have fun living on hard mode lol. Also don't accept drugs from that stranger in the parking lot because finding out their ulterior motives while high isn't worth the free drugs...

When you were thinking about buying $100 of Bitcoin when they were $0.20 a piece, fucking do it, then sit on it for a decade.

I seriously thought about it, and talked myself out of it because it sounded like a good way to lose $100 and it would probably only lose value anyway.

It would be worth $50 million today.

The best time to get into crypto was at the very beginning, it's not even worth gambling with now.

It's not a bad thing to get help from a therapist.

Hi me, the post-secondary you're planning on going to is trash, please consider getting better grades in highschool as getting a job is significantly harder than you think unfortunately and also switch to Linux faster than everyone else holy hell you'll come out better at the end

Ignore the financial “advice” of your parents, they’re retiring and still in debt. Real estate, and stock market. Those prices only go up over time, and although it may be difficult in the short term, long term you’ll thank yourself.

Also college is a waste, don’t do it.

Stop chasing exes through your 20s. Especially the one from a different country. Even if it didn't crash and burn it never would have worked anyway just due to immigration

When you run away, never look back. Don't visit, don't call, don't keep numbers, don't give out your number. Just disappear and start a fresh new life. Find someone that you admire and start figuring out how to be like them.

Nobody cares that you forgot their name if you just fess up and own it. You don’t have to pretend.

Sorry, I’m bad with names. Can you remind me?

It’s that easy.

"None of the things you're worried about will happen, so relax a little."

Invest in Google. Buy an island. Install automated turrets. Don't worry about saving for retirement, cause it won't matter when society collapses.

Quit university and learn a proper job.

(in the end I did, but it took way too long for me to make that decision)

Bitcoin!!! Also change your name on your 18th birthday. No one will know unless you tell them. Amazon hires anyone. Work there, apply to a housing lottery, drop out of high school, be free. Get a GED if you really want to, with your name on it and not ugly ugliness.

Don't do what I did. Now figure it out.

Cut a few millimeters to the right. You somehow missed all the important parts.

For all the bitcoin comments, just know that its never too late.

I didn't buy when it was pennies. I saw it jump from $5 to $20. Then, a few years later, I bought lots and lots when it was in the $100s.

I held for a decade and finally sold this year. I now have enough to retire.

Future you will say "why didn't I buy when it was $100,000"?

A number of things, except I think a bunch of them would be sorted if I just got diagnosed with adhd by high school

Stop searching. There’s nothing to find.

You are not as strong as you think you are. Lift with your legs, not your back.

Push the button.

Ask your parents to take you to a psychiatrist and have you tested for ADHD. Throw things at them until they say yes.

Stop drinking, bitch boy.

"You're doing all this for nothing" and then I'd just leave/vanish/whatever without any actual useful advice because I myself still don't fucking know

Run.

Don't get stuck where you know you shouldn't be. Again and again and again. Also take the goddamn gap year.