Not even cropping skills :(

There's nothing stopping you from lying on your resume. Just make sure you have the general knowledge of the field, i.e. don't apply to a programming job if you don't know how to write code

Last time I saw a crop this bad a million Irish people died.

Mfer looks like 35

Just put that you were Time Magazine's Person of the Year in 2006.

Me applying for the open position at the Hyundei manufacturing plant

Oldie but Goldie!