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Being loved or at least desired by someone must be nice (lemmings.world)
submitted 2 years ago by to c/casualconversation@lemm.ee
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If you read my previous post on other place I asked about dating and most responses sounded like it was nice. Yes, I'm aware that relationships are not only good times (I've seen my mother being tired of her partner and scared of my father) but when you have literally NOTHING in your life you can't help to idolising the things you never had...

I don't think that's weird, but it's definitely sad

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[–] 6 points 2 years ago (1 child)

The grass always looks greener in the neighbors yard.

Being desired is OK. Having sex is OK. Feeling deeply understood is unmatched.

I was in a 12 year relationship and I didn't feel that. I am in a new 1 year relationship and I don't feel that. Do I appreciate my partner? Yes. Am I attracted to them? Yes. But I crave to be understood.

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  • [–] [S] 1 point 2 years ago (2 children)

    I'm missing something naturally primordial though. This isn't the same as "oh I don't have the most current iPhone" being with someone is something that more of less happens to "everyone"

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  • [–] 2 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    All I can say is try be your best self. Try respect and love yourself. Try live up to your own standards and try to achieve the goals that you set for yourself. That kind of energy is attractive. Don't fuss with people who couldn't give a damn about you.

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  • [–] [S] -3 points 2 years ago* (1 child)

    I will never love myself. And I've said this before, loving yourself isn't necessary to attract someone, my parents are the living proof. I'm already my best self, being more than this is too much

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  • [–] 2 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    You are asking for help, but not receiving it. Loving yourself is necessary. You are not your best self, until you do love yourself. Do something each day that makes you like yourself a little bit. Help people. Helping others is the easiest way to feel valuable, to feel appreciated, to feel loved.

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  • [–] [S] 1 point 2 years ago (1 child)

    I'm sick and tired. I don't wanna help anyone, I'm low class dude, I need money and help already.

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  • [–] 0 points 2 years ago

    Most of the people helping the homeless are barely housed themselves. There are many who are in a worse position than you. Some people can’t walk or access the internet. Some people have money but can’t grocery shop. Check out the is guy he has found that it’s very easy to help others, you just have to listen and nod:

    https://youtu.be/SxW9M1Uozng

    I’ve been depressed too. Cardio exercise is an easy, but temporary way to feel better. Helping people is the easiest way to feel valued. Help an old person use a computer. It doesn’t have to be difficult.

    Anyway, hope you find something to put your energy into.

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  • [–] 0 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    It really doesn't happen to everyone. There are outliers like us, OP. Do you want to date and have sex or do you only want it because society thinks you should? What do you personally want? Also curious, but how old are you?

    You don't have to answer any of these questions if you aren't comfortable. I am just curious because I've also always been a bit of an outlier in society. Mine is in a bit of a different way than yours, but it's always interesting to hear about. I'm 30.

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