yeah, I hate this play pretend stuff to get out of being judged.

i recently realized that this could be masking, and i always did that, and I had completely false understanding about masking in autism.

god, I had so many awkard situations with not recognizing people... and friends and family dont believe me, because sure, i recognize them.

accepting my defects instead of being ashamed of them was very difficult. but it was the right path to go down, i am much happier then 10 years before.