I'm an ex incel myself, but I've been seeing a few users here exhibiting the tell tale signs. "I'm not attractive enough", "I don't socialize correctly", "I'll never find a woman" - all extremely unhealthy attitudes.
Personally I burned through many friendships and ruined a lot of chances with women because I was in the incel community. The community warped my view of women so much that I made it even harder to meet women, I became my own worst enemy. I lost friends because all I could think of was how horrible it was that they had girlfriends.
I have a friend who helped me out of it. She was the one who started calling out my bad behavior for what it was, and I started on the long uphill path out of it. I'm now married and stable for well over a decade, but I still think back to those days, and it depresses me seeing other people causing this themselves and not being aware of it.
So, Lemmy, for those who have clawed out of it, what's your story?
I never fell into the whole "the system is against me" idea, but I do struggle with self confidence.
But you have a point there. If they are interesting to me, maybe I should share them more and ignore the inner voice of my ex cutting me down. Recently a friend told me "look, you aren't an incel in the slightest, but your look gives off incel vibes." It hurt, but she was right. I just needed to dress like I care a little. which isn't that hard.
It's not like I really consider myself a nerd. I like painting minis way more than the game. I'm not great at video games, I just really enjoy the stories you can tell. I love science and history, and get way excited about things. I like hitting a golf ball and enjoy watching baseball.
Maybe you opened my eyes to a better me just now. Maybe it's more I need to find joy in the things I like, rather than just doing them.
I'll never be a professional painter. But the things I paint look cool. I'll never get into the PGA, but a birdie is always a brag.