I definitely do get a thrill when thinking about dying for a good cause instead of some absolutely pointless death. Hell yeah. I just hesitate to call it a fantasy, because of the other parts of what would have to happen to the people around me to make that happen.

Maybe that's the difference: women think about how others will feel more so than themselves while men think mostly of the glory or release it will bring them. Reminds me of the difference in suicide methods based on gender. Women attempt it more but choose easy-to-clean-up methods that are not as efficacious. Men seem to rarely think about who is going to have to clean bits of their brain off the ceiling and walls after they shoot themselves in the head. Wonder if this difference also explains why almost every school shooter is male.

Edit: I am not trying to say this is genetically differently wired between the genders. I think it has more to do with how boys and girls are raised differently.