I mean, your wife could do someone male to provide that contrast, even more contrast, right? It wouldn't require her to be bi. I do also find contrast beautiful, like black hair and pale skin is so pretty and yes two different looking bodies entwined. I don't like when guys are huge and women tiny, or vice versa, though. Have always dated guys around my height.
I agree with both quiet non arrogant confidence, and competence, those are hot.