Yes, that's the FOMO angle, but kids find a way.

Growing up, most of my friends had phones, and while I missed stuff, I went to most of the parties and had good friends. My sister has teenagers, and they have strong friend networks and whatnot. Good friends will accommodate you.

But communication is a small part of what kids do on their phones. A lot of it is "preparation," like following TikTok trends so they're up on what's currently popular. There's almost no positives here, only negatives if you don't spend your time the same way your peers do. If they don't have a phone at all, they'll blame their parents, but it's not the failing of the individual. I'm totally willing to be the "bad guy" if it means my kids aren't being peer pressured to do things that aren't beneficial to them. They'll still have access to tech, but only during limited times at home.

Good friends will work around your lack of access to a phone. I absolutely think the negatives outweigh the positives here, so I'm not letting my kids have a phone, it's not worth subjecting them to addiction and peer pressure. To me, it's like smoking (which was still cool when I was a kid), it just impacts your mental health instead of physical health.