This starts out 100% indistinguishable from an April Fools post to the point where I had to check the archive date.
Actually looking back is maybe is satire in that annoying half-serious way (check out the nonsense hyperlinks destinations where the "humor" is a bit more obvious)
Also was I just shamed by someone who was in the environmentally horrifying bitcoin industry for keeping dry milk in my cupboard? No thank you.