▲ 385 ▼ Why do people around me tend to increase their responsibility load (i.e. have children, become a manager, do charity, etc.) while I (30M) try to avoid it as much as I can? (lemmy.dbzer0.com) submitted 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) by humbletightband@lemmy.dbzer0.com to c/nostupidquestions@lemmy.world 125 comments fedilink hide all child comments
[–] ABCDE@lemmy.world 54 points 2 years ago (2 children) I am the same and find that life is enough for me as it is. I'm also on the spectrum so it's easier to not burden myself unnecessarily. permalink fedilink source hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] remotelove@lemmy.ca 29 points 2 years ago (3 children) My ADHD plays a huge part in the opposite direction. I have had hundreds of different hobbies or interests. Each hold my attention for a while and then I rotate to the next. What I have learned to do is make hobbies or projects interrelated and each supports the next. CAD work supports my 3D printing, which supports all the rest, as an example. Tools purchased need to have multiple uses and other supplies the same. Essentially, I have constructed a huge feedback loop for my natural tendency to bounce around. While that stuff keeps me busy, I am learning to simplify the rest of my life, so that is nice. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 6 child comments replies: [+] FoxyFerengi@lemm.ee 11 points 2 years ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 child) [deleted] permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] remotelove@lemmy.ca 3 points 2 years ago I was diagnosed early, but didn't start treatment until my 30's. Basically, I had some really unfounded perceptions of the condition and how amphetamines worked. Whoo boy, was I wrong! But yeah, it's hard not to use the condition as a crutch or an excuse. It's a legitimate condition, no doubt, but the trick is trying to learn ways to leverage it as a positive. (TBH, this only works in some cases, not all.) The biggest challenge for me is trying to communicate how I think and operate to others. Processes that work for normal humans simply do not work for me. This poses some massive challenges in my career, for sure. By the same token, the way I think gives me unique advantages in problem solving. (I am in IT Security by trade where thinking differently is almost a requirement.) permalink fedilink source parent [–] TexasDrunk@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago (1 child) Man, I wish I had heard this decades ago. Most of my hobbies are entirely unconnected except building guitars then playing them. I have a garage full of woodworking stuff that's only for that, a garage full of tools for working on motorcycles that don't overlap, a bunch of tools for cooking outdoors, a room full of entirely unconnected gear for playing pool, rock climbing, a shelf full of tabletop games, gardening equipment, fishing gear, and equipment to make a beverage that is illegal for me to make at both the federal and state level. You have a good system. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] ThirdWorldOrder@lemm.ee 3 points 2 years ago (1 child) Those sound like some pretty cool hobbies tbh. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] TexasDrunk@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago* They're all a lot of fun. The only ones I have kept up with long term are building and playing guitars, cooking outdoors, and working on motorcycles. The rest were passing fancies. permalink fedilink source parent [–] deezbutts@lemm.ee 1 point 2 years ago (1 child) Can you give some more examples please? permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] aniki@lemm.ee 2 points 2 years ago Not op, but I love making interesting furniture and light fixtures. It's a combination of wood working, pretty lights, microcontrollers, open source projects, and stuff that normies fucking love, like epoxy desks. I always have a handful of projects at various states of completion and whenever I get bored of one I bounce to another until I finish and then just pick something from my yuge list of stuff I wanna build and keep going. permalink fedilink source parent [–] Kiosade@lemmy.ca 13 points 2 years ago Exactly! Compared to what neurotypical people are capable of, I truly do feel disabled in some ways. However, as long as I can continue to support myself and my partner until we both die, I’ll be good without all the extra bullshit and responsibilities. permalink fedilink source parent
[–] remotelove@lemmy.ca 29 points 2 years ago (3 children) My ADHD plays a huge part in the opposite direction. I have had hundreds of different hobbies or interests. Each hold my attention for a while and then I rotate to the next. What I have learned to do is make hobbies or projects interrelated and each supports the next. CAD work supports my 3D printing, which supports all the rest, as an example. Tools purchased need to have multiple uses and other supplies the same. Essentially, I have constructed a huge feedback loop for my natural tendency to bounce around. While that stuff keeps me busy, I am learning to simplify the rest of my life, so that is nice. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 6 child comments replies: [+] FoxyFerengi@lemm.ee 11 points 2 years ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 child) [deleted] permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] remotelove@lemmy.ca 3 points 2 years ago I was diagnosed early, but didn't start treatment until my 30's. Basically, I had some really unfounded perceptions of the condition and how amphetamines worked. Whoo boy, was I wrong! But yeah, it's hard not to use the condition as a crutch or an excuse. It's a legitimate condition, no doubt, but the trick is trying to learn ways to leverage it as a positive. (TBH, this only works in some cases, not all.) The biggest challenge for me is trying to communicate how I think and operate to others. Processes that work for normal humans simply do not work for me. This poses some massive challenges in my career, for sure. By the same token, the way I think gives me unique advantages in problem solving. (I am in IT Security by trade where thinking differently is almost a requirement.) permalink fedilink source parent [–] TexasDrunk@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago (1 child) Man, I wish I had heard this decades ago. Most of my hobbies are entirely unconnected except building guitars then playing them. I have a garage full of woodworking stuff that's only for that, a garage full of tools for working on motorcycles that don't overlap, a bunch of tools for cooking outdoors, a room full of entirely unconnected gear for playing pool, rock climbing, a shelf full of tabletop games, gardening equipment, fishing gear, and equipment to make a beverage that is illegal for me to make at both the federal and state level. You have a good system. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] ThirdWorldOrder@lemm.ee 3 points 2 years ago (1 child) Those sound like some pretty cool hobbies tbh. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] TexasDrunk@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago* They're all a lot of fun. The only ones I have kept up with long term are building and playing guitars, cooking outdoors, and working on motorcycles. The rest were passing fancies. permalink fedilink source parent [–] deezbutts@lemm.ee 1 point 2 years ago (1 child) Can you give some more examples please? permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] aniki@lemm.ee 2 points 2 years ago Not op, but I love making interesting furniture and light fixtures. It's a combination of wood working, pretty lights, microcontrollers, open source projects, and stuff that normies fucking love, like epoxy desks. I always have a handful of projects at various states of completion and whenever I get bored of one I bounce to another until I finish and then just pick something from my yuge list of stuff I wanna build and keep going. permalink fedilink source parent
[+] FoxyFerengi@lemm.ee 11 points 2 years ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 child) [deleted] permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] remotelove@lemmy.ca 3 points 2 years ago I was diagnosed early, but didn't start treatment until my 30's. Basically, I had some really unfounded perceptions of the condition and how amphetamines worked. Whoo boy, was I wrong! But yeah, it's hard not to use the condition as a crutch or an excuse. It's a legitimate condition, no doubt, but the trick is trying to learn ways to leverage it as a positive. (TBH, this only works in some cases, not all.) The biggest challenge for me is trying to communicate how I think and operate to others. Processes that work for normal humans simply do not work for me. This poses some massive challenges in my career, for sure. By the same token, the way I think gives me unique advantages in problem solving. (I am in IT Security by trade where thinking differently is almost a requirement.) permalink fedilink source parent
[–] remotelove@lemmy.ca 3 points 2 years ago I was diagnosed early, but didn't start treatment until my 30's. Basically, I had some really unfounded perceptions of the condition and how amphetamines worked. Whoo boy, was I wrong! But yeah, it's hard not to use the condition as a crutch or an excuse. It's a legitimate condition, no doubt, but the trick is trying to learn ways to leverage it as a positive. (TBH, this only works in some cases, not all.) The biggest challenge for me is trying to communicate how I think and operate to others. Processes that work for normal humans simply do not work for me. This poses some massive challenges in my career, for sure. By the same token, the way I think gives me unique advantages in problem solving. (I am in IT Security by trade where thinking differently is almost a requirement.) permalink fedilink source parent
[–] TexasDrunk@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago (1 child) Man, I wish I had heard this decades ago. Most of my hobbies are entirely unconnected except building guitars then playing them. I have a garage full of woodworking stuff that's only for that, a garage full of tools for working on motorcycles that don't overlap, a bunch of tools for cooking outdoors, a room full of entirely unconnected gear for playing pool, rock climbing, a shelf full of tabletop games, gardening equipment, fishing gear, and equipment to make a beverage that is illegal for me to make at both the federal and state level. You have a good system. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] ThirdWorldOrder@lemm.ee 3 points 2 years ago (1 child) Those sound like some pretty cool hobbies tbh. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] TexasDrunk@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago* They're all a lot of fun. The only ones I have kept up with long term are building and playing guitars, cooking outdoors, and working on motorcycles. The rest were passing fancies. permalink fedilink source parent
[–] ThirdWorldOrder@lemm.ee 3 points 2 years ago (1 child) Those sound like some pretty cool hobbies tbh. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] TexasDrunk@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago* They're all a lot of fun. The only ones I have kept up with long term are building and playing guitars, cooking outdoors, and working on motorcycles. The rest were passing fancies. permalink fedilink source parent
[–] TexasDrunk@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago* They're all a lot of fun. The only ones I have kept up with long term are building and playing guitars, cooking outdoors, and working on motorcycles. The rest were passing fancies. permalink fedilink source parent
[–] deezbutts@lemm.ee 1 point 2 years ago (1 child) Can you give some more examples please? permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] aniki@lemm.ee 2 points 2 years ago Not op, but I love making interesting furniture and light fixtures. It's a combination of wood working, pretty lights, microcontrollers, open source projects, and stuff that normies fucking love, like epoxy desks. I always have a handful of projects at various states of completion and whenever I get bored of one I bounce to another until I finish and then just pick something from my yuge list of stuff I wanna build and keep going. permalink fedilink source parent
[–] aniki@lemm.ee 2 points 2 years ago Not op, but I love making interesting furniture and light fixtures. It's a combination of wood working, pretty lights, microcontrollers, open source projects, and stuff that normies fucking love, like epoxy desks. I always have a handful of projects at various states of completion and whenever I get bored of one I bounce to another until I finish and then just pick something from my yuge list of stuff I wanna build and keep going. permalink fedilink source parent
[–] Kiosade@lemmy.ca 13 points 2 years ago Exactly! Compared to what neurotypical people are capable of, I truly do feel disabled in some ways. However, as long as I can continue to support myself and my partner until we both die, I’ll be good without all the extra bullshit and responsibilities. permalink fedilink source parent