Our environment has a lot to do with it too, like what we're born into. Billie Eilish's parents were both actors with a very limited amount of success. She's not a nepo-baby by any definition of the word but she had parents who supported her passion and a have few connections. I don't know what your situation growing up was like but I can take a guess and say that your parents said to you what my parents said to me when I said I wanted to be a rockstar. "You can certainly try, but most people who do don't get very far." They were right of course. You can cut yourself a little slack, life is hard.