I was able to uninstall all of the apps you just mentioned on iPhone just to cure my curiosity.

Which Apple device is not letting you uninstall those apps?

Which means it'll probably be training on literally everything you do on the computer and reporting it all back to Microsoft

Just like Cortana, however, there will be a way to disable it via Group Policy somehow. That's because government institutions that use Windows will not be happy with there being a feature in the OS that is capable of listening to a microphone and transmitting what it hears to a third party. I know Cortana can take voice commands, and I'd doubt their AI thingy will be much different in the user facing implementation.

It will be an “essential” part of the OS, like Edge Internet Explorer 4.

I don't know about Windows 11, but my Windows 10 instance also reverts my "fast startup" setting on every major update. I know this, because my PC's motherboard does not work with "fast" startup and instead takes about half an hour to get from POST to desktop when it's enabled. Suffice to say that I know when Microsoft changes this setting behind my back. I have it disabled for a reason, fuckheads.