You could certainly make the argument that reddit / Lemmy and anything similar is social media, but the anonymity means you aren't seeing or competing with people you know.

Idk, maybe I'm just coping, but I've never felt the need to do anything performative for the masses of internet strangers - unlike some friends of mine who studiously document anything fun we do for the ever important task of impressing people on Instagram.

Whenever the negative effects of social media come up, it tends to be about people comparing their "boring" lives with the carefully crafted veneer of other people's lives they see on social media. That doesn't happen (as much) when you don't use your identity and you don't know anybody else on the platform.

I'm barely on here to begin with. I downloaded Instagram recently (2-3 weeks ago) to message someone I knew and I barely go on it